MD #229: Reconciliation
Reconciliation
Summary: Emily comes to see Atticus and understandings are reached.
Date: 23/11/2017
Related Logs: Well, That Went Well
Emily Atticus 
Brig - Deck 3 - Battlestar Orion
The battlestar's brig is comprised of a line of four individual cells organized in separate walled-off bays. Each cell is six feet wide by eight feet long and possesses a bed and toilet. Whenever even one cell is occupied, so too is the metal desk and chair at the entrance hatch — and backup for the guard is never far away. Each cell has had their bars specifically reinforced to prevent a Line member from being able to gain access or escape. Brig rules are posted behind the desk on a white panel with blocked black lettering.
10/06/2049

Heading towards supper, Atticus' meal is brought in on a tray and the usual process of getting him his food is performed. Song and dance, rahrah. The MP departs and lets someone else through the hatch. Emily steps through in her Marine uniform and she's holding her own tray, though it is piled a bit higher with food. Girl needs calories. When she's in her uniform, she does seem to stand taller. It isn't just due to how thick the boots are. No smile, no discernible expression. She moves to stand in front of his cell with her tray and looks at him. "May I join you, Atticus? Please? I will be civil." Civil? How would she know a word like that and use it so casually?

Atticus had finished scanning in book about an hour ago, and so had been taking a nap before dinner. As such, he's still a little sleepy as his food arrives. There's a mumbled thanks to the MP, and then he takes the tray back to his bunk to eat, but only once he's cleared the books away so he can't spill anything on them. He's just about to tuck in when Emily arrives and he watches her cautiously for a moment, but since she doesn't seem to be about to give him grief he gives a sweeping gesture over the area in front of the cell. "Make yourself at home."

Emily gives him a low nod and then places the tray on the floor. She takes a seat against the wall and pulls the tray closer. Lady Emily, unconcerned about getting dirt on her rump? Many things have changed. Sipping the cup first, she puts the tray in her lap and holds up the fork. "I'm seeing a Doctor to help me with the transition to this new life. I told her what happened and why I said what I did. She agrees that I need to give you space and allow you to heal how you need to heal. I am sorry that I behaved the way that I did." She forks up some mashed potatoes and eats a few bites.

Atticus isn't entirely sure what his dinner is, but it smells nice enough, so he eats it without complaint. Waiting until she's finished, and he has nothing in his mouth he nods a couple of times, "it's okay, everything is weird, and we've just got to remember that it'll get better as we start to understand it. Now, I've a head start there, as I remember somethings, and to these guys, the last twenty years didn't happen." He then loops back to something she'd said at the start, "which doctor? Once of them lent me something he called goggles, so it hurts yours eyes less when you swim. If you haven't got any yet, I recommend them."

"Yes. I spoke at length with the Doctor about how I feel and the things that I am terrified to tell these people. I made her promise that she would not tell anyone else no matter what I said." She keeps her gaze down, not quite sad but there's a weight there. "Obviously I have not spoken about the burdens we bear for our actions. But other things. How I feel about home. I do not feel I can trust others on the ship with that. I saw their reactions to you." Another forkful and she moves to start cutting apart some kind of sliced loaf of meat. "She is working with me to see if I can build my confidence in others." Atticus can tell there is something different about the way she is speaking. There's a more casual air and less concern with what sorts of words she is choosing, almost like she isn't working with limited tools. "Goggles? I have goggles for shooting guns. Not for swimming. Speaking of shooting, Doctor Stone, the one that is helping me, shot me in the eye with something. It taught me the complete scope of the Colonial Language." She grins just a littttttle. "I would suggest it. The feeling is marvellous."

Atticus seems content to let Emily talk as he picks away at his food, he's not particularly hungry, but is planning on hitting the gym later, so is aware he needs something solid in him beforehand. "I never did make a list of what I'd done," he confesses, "I've given people the chance to ask, but they don't seem inclined." Not that he's sure how he feels about that mind, there's relief certainly, but also guilt. As she returns to the topic of goggles he sets his tray to the side for a moment and reaches under his pillow for the pair Ambrose lent him, then tosses them in her direction, "apparently they treat the water with something to keep it clean, that what causes the stinging, but they help, mean you can keep your eyes open underwater." Just like you can in a lake or stream. There's a frown as she mentions the razer though. "Shot in the eye?" he looks closely at her, "you don't look like you were shot, and anyway, how would that help with the language?"

"I've not made a list, either. People do not ask. One day when we are alone, we can talk over what we have done. Perhaps there with be catharsis in that." Emily keep her eyes down, looking at the food while she cuts up the meatloaf. "I do not plan to tell this Doctor any of that. That is for us. I fear that like how I feel about home, people will not understand what we have done. Or why." She does look towards the goggles and squints. "I've not seen anything like those before. Gunnery Sergeant Knox ordered me to tell him the truth about whether or not I could swim. I told him I could swim. I was in all my gear and he picked me up and actually threw me into the pool. I dropped my rifle and had to get out of my pack and swim to the bottom to get it. The next day he did the same thing again. And I dropped my rifle. I no longer fear their pool. He does it every other day now. I did notice that it hurts my eyes." Hm. She nods and eats a bite before saying more, "I was not shot with a gun. Not a normal gun. It shot knowledge into my eye. It made clicking sounds in my brain and I sort of lost consciousness." So many new words and concepts. "When I woke up, I understood so much more. The odd turns of phrase. Idioms. Puns and jokes. Jocular phrasing." Her eyes move to him with a smile. "It did not just give me words, but defined those words. I can communicate more effectively now. I do not spend hours asking for definitions. And I can read as fast as if I were hearing it spoken." And there is freedom in that.

"There is another onboard," Atticus starts, "who was recently rescued. Like us, but from the other side as it were. One of the junior medical staff. I think perhaps somethings we can talk with her about, how to adapt, odd customs and such. Not everything though, she suffered under our rule, and there are things I wouldn't discuss in her presence." He means Yari, for there is clearly some common ground, even if other areas are so far separated. There's a faint eyebrow raised at the tales of the pool, but he doesn't question it, beyond wondering who this Knox is. Most of his attention though goes on the talk of the knowledge gun. He seems.. dubious, about how that works. "They shot you in the eye, it made a clicking sound in your head, and then you blacked out?" There's a faint suspicion in his mind that something else might be at play here, with the talk of blacking out, but since she seems happy with it he isn't going to kick up a fuss.

"Miss Yari. I've met her. She has suffered terribly and her husband was a brute. She is the type of person we must seek to rectify ourselves with. I cannot think of her as a commoner. But how she feels is important, I think. I've not talked to her about her home, though. It sounds very different." And Emily doesn't know where Piraeus is or too much about what it means. It is a planet, yes. She continues eating, downing a big forklift of meat. She's certainly picked up an appetite since leaving Picon. He can see that her face looks less round and more angled, now. She is not as soft but has a more aggressive sensibility about her - even the way she attacks her food. "I blacked out and woke up a second later. Nobody messed with my head, Atticus. It is safe. And I feel wonderful. The ability to understand what's being said, why I am saying it, and reading? …I understand now why you read so much. It’s a gateway." Her smile lifts just a bit. "One other thing that I wanted to mention to you. Your Knighthood. You told me the other night that you wish to rescind this title you have attained." noticeably less anger and emotion there.

Atticus has been told a bit about Piraeus, but he doesn't know where it is either. He nods to the general comments about Yari, then considers what’s said about the razer. "If you're sure," he replies, while clearly he isn't, her assurances do seem to have helped at least. He smiles as she mentions reading, clearly glad that she enjoys it too then his expression grows serious as she mentions his knighthood again. "Yes," he confesses, "I intend to renounce it as soon as Marcus and the Admiral find what they consider to be the best way to handle it. It's not something they've handled before, and nor have I," clearly, "but soon I hope." He watches for a reaction for a moment before noting, "I know you don't like the idea, but if you wanted to be there too, you'd be welcome."

"I cannot ever be sure with the Colonials. Our people. But I do know that they have acted in my best interest where they can. If something else was done to trick me, then I suppose the trick may be worth it. It is not about transparency, Atticus. It is about doing the right thing." Emily seems a little more intent on that. Maybe the Marines are the perfect fit for her. The girl seems to have a better grasp of words, even if her intellect is still fairly simple. "I admit that I would like to be there, but I also will take no pleasure in it. But I will be there because I want to support you, Atticus." She eats another few bites and looks at him. "I was going to keep this from you, but you have always been a man of honour where you can. The Metal sometimes left us no alternatives." The fork is placed on the tray and her eyes hold on him. "Your termination of title and services is not on you to decide. When you are Knighted, only the king or queen can officially knight you. But lacking the king or queen's presence, a member of the house can accept or deny your request to be released from service until such time that the king or queen can rule a decision." Hands fold in her lap. "I reacted poorly because of the pain it caused me at the idea of having to be the one to do that, and other reasons I dare not voice further. So there is a reason, even if the whole process on my end was a mess. I am sorry. You deserve better."
Emily has partially disconnected.

Atticus listens to what Emily has to say, then looks at her for several moments in silence. Setting his tray to one side he then stands, and moves to take a seat closer to the bars, so conversation can be quieter and they can be closer, even if they're still physically divided. "Emily," he starts in a tone that suggests he doesn't think she'll like what he has to say and that he's going to try and break it to her gently, "I don't care what the rules say. This isn't about going cap in hand to the King to politely beg his permission to leave, this is about me making it clear to myself, and everyone else here, that I do not give a damn what your old family decide they want from me. I want you there as my friend, as someone else trying to make sense of all this, but I can't have you there as a member of House Benning that I'm grovelling to for my freedom. I have decided that they have no hold over me anymore, and I will make that declaration to the Admiral, or the Commander, or whoever from this crew they deem it fit. It doesn't work if you're there as part of your House and 'grant' me that freedom, I have to claim it for my own."

Emily doesn't like it. There's a deeper and more thorough sadness, but she doesn't cry or lash out this time. He see's something that he did not the other night when it was mentioned - understanding. "That isn't what I was seeking to do. I wish to hold nothing over you. This is about freedom, yes. I was going.." She lifts the fork and waves it over her tray. "I will be there as your friend and I will cause no disruptions. I desire the best for you because you have earned this. Certainly none of us deserved this. But understand something that was not sent correctly to Lleufer as well." She looks back at him. "I am not behaving this way because I am trying to retain some power. I am well aware that our people do not recognize the right of kings. But I do concern myself with finality of it. I am still handled as a child in many ways, told I should not make hasty decisions that will affect me forever." She looks down. "You make the decisions that are right for you, Atticus. I will support you, even if I disagree with them."

Atticus lets her work through her feelings on the matter and articulate them before he nods once in understanding. "That's all I ask, as I said, I want you there, it's part of trying to work out who I am now, but part of who I am is friends with you, and that's important." He doesn't move back to his dinner yet but remains sat with her. "I can't claim to understand why you keep your title, it makes no sense to me, but it's clearly important to you, so that's okay. You can't understand why I hate mine, but that's okay too, because we both have to find our way, and while we can help each other, our paths will differ in places. We just need to recognise that and keep together anyway."

Emily shakes her head. "No, Atticus. I do understand why you want to get rid of yours. I understand why you want nothing to do with the House and the people. What you were forced to do.. you need that separation, I suppose. You were different before the Skath, you were a person with a family, even if you were a kid. Me?" Her lips twitch a little. "I don't know anything else. The Clerics did not have to do much to me in order to get me to do their will." Try as she might, there's not much to revert back to. She really is just that royal girl. No wonder she doesn't want to speak freely around the ship. She could lose everything very easily. "You have my support, Atticus. You may give up the titles given to you, but I'm always going to think of you a certain way." At least she can smile a little with that.

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