AWD #461: Of Ghosts and Demons
Of Ghosts and Demons
Summary: Wherein Toby and Niamh have a sort of argument, Kelsey tries to be nice to Niamh, and Niamh puts her foot in it.
Date: 25/09/2016
Related Logs: None
Toby Kelsey Niamh 
Deck Storage
Taking any one of five elevators down to the below decks brings the individual to a heavily armored storage area. There are not any sprinklers here, though. Large, ominous vent shafts travel to the side of the pod and will open once the call is made from Damage Control in CIC or by the Deck Chief. The reason is that this area serves as the munitions and ordnance storage for the Vipers, Raptors, and Predators. Pallets of bombs, missiles, guns, bullets, and every type of deliverable munition in between is stored below decks, as well as the extra parts of all the aircraft aboard. Cameras monitor this area and the only access, outside the elevators, are sets of hatchways which are guarded at all hours by Marines.
Wed Apr 12 2006 AWD #461

Mid-shift finds Niamh down in the stores, she's probably supposed to be doing inventory, or something equally important. And on any normal day, the redhead would be doing what she's supposed to be doing with a sort of obsessive accuracy. But today is not really a normal day and the Crewman is not in peak form at all. She's currently using a crate a surface on which to rest her notebook. Her chin is propped up on her left hand as her green eyes stare off into space, not paying any attention whatsoever to anything that might be happening around her. All in all, she seems definitely not herself as her pencil moves in random doodles over the page. It might be noted that she's not slacking off anywhere that's going to be readily noticeable, though she's not exactly hiding either.

Mid-shift finds Toby down in the stores, he's not supposed to be doing inventory, but is hunting out a part that's needed up above. A part that is both cumbersome, and stored out of the way, so he has an excuse to not have to deal with other people for at least a few minutes. The thunderstorm that's been present over his head ever since just after his release from the brig is still present, but the tension in his shoulder does seem to relax a fraction when he thinks he's finally alone. As she's quiet and out of the way, it takes him a few moments to spot Niamh, and when he does it's out of the corner of his eye so his head snaps round to identify the source of the movement. Recognising her a friend rather than foe he grunts a quick greeting of "Callaghn."

It takes a moment for Niamh to realize that's /her/ name that was spoken. And when she does, it jolts her out of her thoughts that she flinches hard enough to maybe give herself whiplash. A mixture of guilt and worry is written across her face as she snatches up her notebook, and stabs the pencil into her hair. «Tob… ah.. Sir. Sorry, just getting back to work.» Nope, none of her usual smiles or the cheerful shrugging off of being caught out. The Crewman just ducks her head and sidles past Toby, clutching her notebook tightly and trying to be as unobtrusive as possible as she heads back to where she was /supposed/ to be doing actual work.

Toby had been planning to leave Niamh to whatever it is she was doing and go find his part, but her reaction gives him pause. He's tempted to move into her path to physically block her way but instead he simply raises one hand in a 'please stop' gesture. It's not one that'll actually block her way should she insist on leaving, but it'll hopefully give her the general idea that he'd rather she didn't. «Hey,» he starts, <>hey, kid, wait. What's up?» While there's still a frown on his face, one that's as good as perminant these days, there's also concern in his voice, «no need to leave on my account, I'm just here for a compressor valve. Besides, way things are going, I'll be saluting you long before you have to salute me, so Toby is fine.»

There's a pause, only because the raised hand makes her flinch again, even though it's not coming close enough to touch her. Niamh kind of hunches her shoulders and takes a couple of deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down since it would seem she's not in any immediate trouble. Shifting off to the side to lean against a crate, watching Toby with worried eyes, she is silent for a few moments, maybe working up the courage to say something but not sure how exactly to say it. She bites her lip, then blurts out, «Do you believe in ghosts?» Well, that certainly comes out left of nowhere, even the redhead seems surprised by the abruptness of the question, like she definitely didn't plan on saying it quite like that.

At the flich Toby immediately drops his hand, then stuffs both of them into his pockets, so they're safely out of the way. Noting the panic he also takes a step or two back, both to give her more room, and so he can lean against the end of a row of shelves. «Define ghosts," he replies quietly. «I've seen the people down on P if that's what you mean, and I know the dead can't rest until they're avenged, although I've never seen any of them return.» He studies her for a few moments then asks, «what happened?»

Another long silence, then Niamh peels her notebook away from her chest and flips through the pages, before finding the one she wants, she shows it to Toby, a sketched picture of The Captain in all her gear, surrounded by some thumbnails of more detailed sections of the foreign weapons and what might've been a word, underlined a few times but scratched up so it's not anything very recognisable. «She told me her name's Lila… she… she showed me something.» A shudder and a haunted look settles on Niamh's face, like everything she's ever believed to be right has been called into question.

«Lilah, yeha» Toby confirms, «or Captain al Yamoha. I've spoken with her a few times now.» Well three, but one of them was an indepth conversation on topics rather deeper than those he usually discusses onboard. «Did she do the touch projection thing?» he asks gently, «she offered that, but I don't know if I want to see or not.» Then, gently, «what did you see? Is that what has you spooked? And what's that?» He slowly pulls one hand out of his pocket and points to the scratched out word.

Niamh nods slowly, taking another deep breath and slowly relaxing some. So she's not completely insane. There's a hint of relief that creeps into her eyes. «Uh… yeah, she took my hand and I saw… felt… I don't know, it's like I was /there/. I felt /everything/. I felt her die. It's like I really did die. And I've nearly died before, so I know what it's like, kind of. I can't… it's hard to describe. I'm glad she showed me. But I don't know what to do about it.» The words tumble out in a haphazard fashion and she blushes slightly, offering a rueful smile that's closer to her old self. A glance goes down to the word and one shoulder lifts stiffly, «I told her I wouldn't talk about it to anyone, it's better that way.» Her head tilts and she looks back at Toby, «If she offers you again, you should.»

Toby slips his hand back into his pocket and nods slowly. «If you gave your word then I won't pry.» Teh rest of what she says takes more consideration, and he's silent for a good few moments before he takes a deep breath in, then lets it out slowly. «I think about,» he starts, «I'm not sure that's something I want to feel. Is it really our place to know what death feels like? Do all deaths feel a like? I don't know.» There's another pause, and then he can't help but ask, «if it doesn't go against what you said to her, what did it feel like? Death. Can you even describe such a thing?»

«It hurt.» Niamh replies promptly. «Worse than nearly dying after a beating from Pop. At least the doctors gave me drugs to make it hurt less. In this.. what she showed me. It hurt so much. But….» She closes her eyes, face tightening at the memory, «There was peace too, because she managed to get the bird out the Hangar. The only one who did because everyone else was hiding. After he told her she'd never be anything she did the one thing no one else could.» A hard swallow and her eyes blink open after a moment of silence. «I want to be like her.» Judging by the story, she's obviously not talking about The Captain. «I think it's different for everyone, though.»

Toby blinks once at the immediate reply. Okay, he probably should have exepcted that one. He gives Niamh a faint nod of the head though, opting to keep quiet until she's done with her whole answer. The comment about hte bird and hanger get a confused reaction, but once he figures out it's not Lilah she's talking about that fades somewhat. «She showed you someone else's death?» he asks, just to clarify, «not her's?» He's itching to ask who 'he' is too, but resists for now. That sort of thing can wait until she's more settled, or even his next conversation with the Captain. Assuming he ever makes it off-ship again that is. Now that thought causees a faint wince and he asks, «you heading back down there any time soon? Nor urgent if you're not mind, but let me know if you do?»

Niamh shakes her head, «No… not hers.» She confirms, shifting a little and pushing hair out of her face. Toby's request confuses her somewhat and she tilts her head, «Well… okay, I mean… I don't know when I'm going to go down there again, but of course you could come with.» The wince doesn't go unnoticed and the Crewman frowns a little. «Are you okay?» It's almost a relief to focus on someone other than the crazy thoughts going round and round inside her head.

«I can't,» Toby replies quickly, almost bitterly, «Chief has banned me from leaving the ship. If..» and there's a pause as he sorts his words out, «if you do go, I might have a message for you to deliever. Or try and deliver at least, if you're up to it. Nothing complex, but I owe her, Lilah, an explaination, and I can't give it to her myself.»

Niamh blinks at that, «Why'd you get banned from leaving?» Of course she's going to ask that question, but nods anyway, finally a real smile lighting her eyes. «Of course, just um… write it down so I can make sure it's right.» She glances down at her notebad, worrying the corners, flicking the edges back and forth - no wonder the thing looks so dogeared and battered.

«For fighting with that marine,» Toby replies almost off-handedly, «apparently I've got to learn to work with others and this is the best way to make that happen.» He shrugs slightly, clearly not convinced himself, but there's not exactly much he can do about it. «Just tell her, if you see her, tell her I wanted to be there. Would have been, if I hadn't been grounded. She'll know what I mean.»

Pulling the pencil out of her messy ponytail, Niamh scribbles the note onto her notepad, just incase she does forget. Then she kind of levels Toby with what can only be described as 'disappointed-mom' look. «You have got to stop doing that. Didn't I tell you? You need to beat on something, come find me. I won't hold it against you, and I'm tougher than any Marine. And plus, you won't get into trouble if we call it impromptu sparring…»

«I'm not going to come find you to beat you up,» Toby replies firmly, apparently assuming he'd win. «If I've time to go anywhere it'd be to the gym where I could take it out on one of the heavy bags. If you want to spar, then we can spar, but that's not venting frustration at idiots, that's controlled and safe.» Relatively. «Besides,» he adds as an after thought, «fraker had it coming.»

Niamh rolls her eyes and actually pushes away from the crates she's leaning on to get all up in Toby's face. Probably the bravest thing she's ever done. «No. He probably didn't. Well. He might've but it wasn't up to you to give it to him. We need you on Deck and we need you not totally wrapped up in your whole 'I hate the world' thinking.. mindset… thing. We. Need. You.» She even goes so far as to poke him in the shoulder, punctuating each of those last words. She actually looks a little bit fierce as she steps back enough to not be completely in his space, crossing her arms and staring at him.

In contrast, Toby has his hands in his pockets, and is leaning against the end of a shelving unit. The poke is apparently, tolerated, as he keeps his hands where they are rather than raise them, or offer any kind of physical defense. «He called Lilah a cylon,» is his reply, «said she was manipulating us, that we were fools to listen to her.» That in his mind, is clearly asking for it, for his tone is very matter of fact.

Kelsey is down here because she's working on a weapons qual. She's on inspection in her greens. There's a clipboard under her arm. Hair pulled tight into a ponytail, she stares at them from their sides, unmoving about 20 feet away. She doesn't make any sudden movements or call out to them, even with the poking. Likely she's wanted to do that to him, herself. There is no fear, though. No concern. No attempt to hide. It almost seems as if she is simply waiting for them to notice her, standing at the end of a row of munitions. Not that she understands a word of whats being said, but the officer likely understands a gist fairly well.

Apparently that's not really an entirely acceptable reason. «So what? You thought you'd just beat some sense into him?» She makes a disgusted sound and scowls at Toby, «Believe me, trying to beat information into a person doesn't work. I'm living proof of that.» She waves a hand, pushing the last words aside, «And anyway, do you think that she'd be proud of you? Allowing your temper to get the better of you to the point where you have to send a friend to say sorry to her, because you're grounded for defending her honour?» Oh, Niamh's actually getting well, quite angry, actually, though she does refrain from poking him again and even takes another step back, but doesn't stop glaring at him, which is probably why she's not immediately aware of the pilots arrival.

<FS3> Toby rolls Alertness: Great Success.

Toby isn't entirely focused on his periferal vision either, and his first responses are solely for Niamh. «I tried reasoning first,» he notes, starting to sound a touch annoyed, as if Niamh is touching a nerve. «What you have rather me do? Let an insult like that stand? There are lines, and he crossed them, after being warned off.» The thunder cloud is starting to reform and he straightens up so he's no longer leaning on the shelves, then turns as if to go find that valve he came down here for inthe first place. It's at that moment he spots Kelsey and freezes for the moment it takes for his brain to note that she can't have been listening in, as they've been talking in tauran. "Lieutenant," he greets gruffly, still unmoving as he tries to deicde how her arrival changes things.

The pilot doesn't step forward or try to inject herself. Given that its kind of shadowy down here its hard to even see the rank pips, but he clearly know her face. Her eyes move between the two without making any kind of accusations. No, she just holds her place, watching, waiting to see what they want to say that she can understand. Kelsey learned a long time ago to not open her mouth if she didn't want her foot in it.

Just like that, Niamh's anger drains away and she looks well, quite apologetic, «Toby.» A gloved hand reaches out, as if to stop him from walking away, falling short though and returning uselessly to her side. «I didn't mean… I just wish…» Whatever else she might've said fades away as he mentions an Officer. She follows his line of sight and visibly stiffens. "Sir," She can't see who it is, but an officer is an officer, not her most favourite people in the world, if only because they intimidate her a little. Nervous habit forcing her to check over her uniform, making sure all the fastenings are secure and squared away, each one being checked no less than three times.

Not being entirely sure where he stands with Kelsey at the moment Toby keeps to business related matters for now. Starting with introductions. "Callaghn, this is Lieutenant Wescott, she used to be deck, but jumped upstairs to the wing and now flies raptors." He must be trying to aovid conflict, he's talkingin standard, and said fly rather than crash. Then, the reciprical, "Lieutenant," somehow 'sir' just seems wrong, "Crewman Callaghn, air mech. Just come to us from the civilian fleet." Given the comment about no more favours for a while though he doens't allude to their previous conversation about Niamh, just lets Kelsey act on it or not as she chooses.

Kelsey watches Niamh check herself over and seems to recognize her. The shock of red hair, busy demeanor. The greeting is only a nod for the moment. It goes with the introduction. Standing very still, there's an eventual nod to Toby and she gestures for him to be on his way. "Thank you, Shackleton. As you were." Waiting for him to go, she'll watch until he does before stepping further out of the shadows. "Crewman Callaghn. Toby mentioned you a few weeks ago. He said you might want someone to talk to. Maybe someone who has also had a rough run of things." Her voice stays more quiet. "Nothing official, though. Far from it. Just two women and some privacy." She leaves it open-ended and friendly, though.

The Crewman watches Toby disappearing, «We're not done talking.» She throws after him, in Tauran, before focusing on the Officer, trying to keep still but sort of failing as her fingers twitch against her uniform. Kelsey's words make Niamh blink, surprised. "He… what? Why would he think that?" A genuinely confused frown creases her brow, a quick glance is given to the LT, but for the most part, the redhead just fixes on a random spot past her shoulder. "He shouldn't have done that, Sir. I'm sorry."

Toby is unsure for a moment just what Kelsey is saying. Should he go back to leaning onthe shelves? When exactly did she come in? In the end though he figures it out, and with a quick nod to her, and then a «It's not as if I'm going anywhere,» to Niamh he continues on into the stores. That valve won't appear on deck by itself after all.

Once Toby has fully vacated, she looks back to Niamh. "Relax, please. Seriously, just pretend I'm not an officer right now." She even removes her pins, one at a time, and pockets them. Casual as can be. "I didn't understand what was being said but I think I got the point. I know because I've had a lot of conversations with him that probably looked a lot like that. Ever tried hugging him? It's like squeezing a cadaver." She takes a long breath and hops up on a crate, letting her legs swing. "He did that because he obviously cares a deeply about your well being. We both know Tony isn't a bad guy by any stretch, he's just hurting and defensive about it. Know what I mean?" Hands clasp and are held between her knees. It's a little easier to see her as an enlisted than an officer like that.

It takes quite a bit for Niamh to fully relax in the presence of an officer, pins or no. She shifts and rolls her shoulders, moving to prop herself against a crate opposite to where Kelsey's positioned herself. "Hugging him?" The Crewman sounds a bit horrified by the thought. "Um… no, no. I mean, I don't really think that'd be… appropriate. And plus, he'd probably get mad and I'm trying to keep him… not mad. You know?" She fiddles with the edges of her notebook, flicking the pages back and forth, a soft shushing sound in the comparative quiet of the stores. "I just wish he'd… I don't know about that. I mean, maybe you're right and he does care. As best as he knows how to. But… " She trails off and shrugs, giving Kelsey a slightly rueful smile.

"Hugging him. Personal contact. I even kissed his cheek once." Kelsey shares this as if it were the level of seriousness as slaying a dragon single-handed. There's a softer expression there, though. "Want to know the secret to Toby? It isn't complex. Just don't judge him. When he says something crazy to you, ask his side and explore it. Find out why he thinks and does the things he does. Accept him and understand him." She glances back the way he went, then looks to Niamh again. "If he lets you poke him like that, then he cares about you. But like everyone else on this ship, he's broken in his own way." She shrugs her shoulder. "I know he cares about you. There's no doubt in my mind. He probably also cares about your opinions and what you think of him." Her eyes glance to the notebook, then to Niamh's eyes again. "You want to go first? Tell me a little bit about yourself? If you're shy, I can talk about me first and we can go from there."

"Huh." Niamh looks a little thoughtful, also following the direction Toby disappeared in. Then she shakes her head slightly and sighs. "Well, he should know what I think about him. I've told him. Sort of… I guess. I mean, I've nearly lost people I consider friends because of defending him. And I've told him as much. Not because I want him to feel guilty about it. I'm just… not good with people. Engines… yes, people… not so much. I try though. And I /never/ judge people. No matter what they do. I mean, I've told him loads of times if he needs to beat on someone he can come find me. I can take a beating pretty well, and at least he won't get in trouble for that since we're sort of equals and stuff. At least, rank-wise." The words come out in a kind of mixed up babble, fingers still agitating the pages of the beat-up notebook, probably just needing something to keep busy. "I'm not sure what you want to know about me?"

Those eyes stay on Niamh, focused there. She watches everything from the way she speaks to her fidgeting to the words she chooses. But Kels doesn't look like she is about to lash out or attack anything. There are no attempts to pounce on anything. "You know, I used to tell people that. I could take an emotional beating because I'd beaten myself up. Told people that if they needed to scream at someone and yell and call names, I could take it. Sometimes the help we offer is also the sign that something is wrong." In some ways, she's been there. But Kelsey doesn't approach this like a shrink. There's no overarching feeling that the officer is approaching this as a problem to solve. Naimh isn't something o be fixed to Wescott. "If you could be anyone, who would you want to be? Pick anyone, any position. Just tell me why. There's no such thing as 'stupid', be as wistful as you want. Fictional or real."

Niamh looks confused, head tilting as Kelsey posits the idea of being anyone other than who she is. "I ah… I don't know." She replies, quite honestly after a moment. "I've never really thought about it. I guess I kind of like who I am… mostly." Shifting from one foot to the other, her fingers stop playing with the notebook, moving to run idly over the fastenings of her coveralls, making sure everything's secure - force of habit and somewhat OCD tendencies. "I don't see what's wrong in being something that you're good at being? Dio doesn't get it either… but stuff that happened. Made me who I am now, and made me stronger, it taught me things I wouldn't have known, otherwise." She flits back to the original topic with barely a pause, "Who would you be?"

Kelsey watches and slowly shakes her head. "I think you're reading into this a little too much. I'm not asking who you wish you could be to champion people in your plight. Just straight forward, if you could be anyone. Some people would love to be President. Or CAG. Doctor. My daughter actually wants to be all three of those, concurrently. Her biggest debate is which title she wants to go first." She does smile a touch. "I want to be Captain Colonial. Run around with a shield, bust up the badguys, question your morality, hunt for truth. Have adventures and look sexy doing it. ALWAYS 'The Cap'." Sagenod. "Want to talk about who you want to be or who you are? Either topic is fine. I'm not here to distress you."

"No really…" Niamh shakes her head slightly. "I think… I guess when I was a kid I wanted to be all kinds of things. I think all kids want to be these big amazing things when they grow up. But now?" She shakes her head again and offers Kelsey a lopsided smile, "I can't remember the last time I imagined being someone other than who I am now. Being here… on the Orion. This is my home. I don't miss what's gone, but only because I never loved it to begin with. This is my home. I'm good at my job. I /love/ my job. I can't imagine doing anything else." She pauses then, blinking slowly. "Well.. maybe the only thing I could add to what I do now would be to have the ability to make my drawings real. Engine modifications, maybe… I don't know. I'm not really qualified to say how they'd work, I'd just like to see them existing outside of the paper they're drawn on."

"Probably. Up until a couple weeks ago I used to dream big. i used to have so many hopes and dreams. I used to plan and mentally sketch and tell my girl big stories. Now? I mostly just stare at my bunk and thank the Gods I'm still alive and wonder more existential stuff about the future." Kelsey doesn't smile, but it looks like she normally food. She has the face for it, but it looks like she's forgotten. "Not a bad wish, though. Seeing your own dreams and designs come alive. How come you don't push them to do that?"

"As I said… I'm not an engineer. I'm just a mechanic. A good enough one, but we don't have the materials for it. And even if we could find the materials…." Niamh shakes her head, "There's more important things to worry about." Then she frowns, "You stopped telling your daughter stories?" Her head tilts a little to the side and she looks a bit disappointed at that. "My mother… my /real/ mother used to tell us stories. Even my foster mother would tell me stories sometimes. When Pop - my foster father - wasn't around. He didn't really hold with foolish sentimental things like that. But it used to be our… thing, you know? You shouldn't stop telling her stories."

"I've heard that before, when I was on Deck. Resources are too scarce. We don't have time for it. I really need to just shut up and go back to work because nobody is paying me to think. oh, and the best was hearing I should use my mouth for something more useful. Loved hearing that." Kelsey nods slowly. "Granted the last one was not on Orion, but the others were." She leans back a little, propping herself up with her arms behind her. "I think stories help keep our kids imaginations big. They encourage vibrant thought and new ideas. At the very least critical thinking." But she doesn't smile. "I've just run out of steam. I saw something I shouldn't have and it frakked me up. I get really worried that the mother in me just forgot how to be a mom, like it was something I had memorized. I've got no idea who I am anymore, but I do know I don't have the same energy. I just feel cold, scared, and angry. It sucks." It isn't a secret or worded in a whisper, Kels just lets it out. "Deck Chief told me this morning she might be working on a new design. Has she seen what you've drawn up?"

Niamh uses the crate at her back to rub an itch, idly moving back and forth as she stares off into space. "Guess you just need to find yourself again." As though that were the simplist thing in the world. "I like the routine of being Deck. I like not having to think about anything other than my job. I'm good at it. It's more than just a job for me, it's my life. And the lives of my birds. And the pilots that fly them. There's no room for errors or maybes or what ifs. I told Toby that you can't beat knowledge into a person. But that's not strictly true. If my foster father… if Pop hadn't given me the beatings he did, I wouldn't be here now." She actually gives quite a cheerful grin, "Okay… there were some close calls. But not because I wasn't doing what he taught me to do. It was for other silly things, like the time I brought a puppy home. Nearly didn't survive that one. But I did, and I'm here now. Doing what I love. I know I could be better… I wish…" There's a haunted look overshadowing the cheerful smile, some memory still fresh enough to draw strong emotion. "But I will be. Eventually. I always am." She gives Kelsey a slightly critical look, her smile a little gentler. "Anyway, all I'm saying is you can't give up because something bad happened. I'm scared, every day. Every day a quick movement in my direction and I'm thinking someone's going to beat on me. But that doesn't stop me from carrying on. It's never going to go away, the fear I mean… it never does. So I focus on the things that make me happy. What makes you happy?"

Niamh shakes her head after that question, "No… haven't spoken to the Chief beyond briefings, I don't think my designs are… what she would need. But maybe if it comes up."

"Finding that person again isn't happening. You can't unsee things. She died stepping through a door way." Kelsey doesn't elaborate, but that's probably for the best. "those are all the same reasons I loved Deck. It was easy. I could do the work, go home, and know what I was doing mattered." Her face stays expressionless. "You know what's not okay? Beating people for their best intents. You know what's even less okay? Beating a child. You shouldn't have to live in fear of being hit again, or volunteer for it. It shows a lack of respect or value when we hit things. Its an act of destruction, not love. I didn't drop three thousand pounds of bombs on Avery Hall, the Capital of the Twelve Colonies, because I misunderstand the Cylons' intent." Her words are dry. "Someone hits you, you hit them back. If you can't hit them back, you get your friends and everyone hits back. That's how the military operates. We all support each other because if they hit one of us, they hit all of us. Thousands of people on this ship, Niamh. We can hit pretty damned hard. The fact that you show up, you smile, and you're clearly passionate means you're worth hitting back for. Nobody should be hitting you for any reason unless you or we all grab them by the ear and repeatedly kick them in the balls." She seems serious, though. Kelsey leaves it there. The question of what makes her happy just has her look away. She dodges it. "Then why don't you ask her what she would need? I'm pretty sure volunteered help would be high up on the list."

"It doesn't matter now." Niamh shakes her head, "What's done is done. And yes, it's scarred me. Does it affect my ability to form relationships with people? Probably, I don't know. Does it affect my ability to perform my job? Not much, not enough to make it a problem. I never said you should forget. I just said you need to find yourself again. That person's not going to be the same as before, she can't be. None of us can." The Crewman doesn't miss the fact that Kelsey declines to answer the question about what makes her happy, "And if you don't have anything that makes you happy, then you need to find something, even if it's beating the frak out of a punching bag, because the longer you wallow in anger and misery, the closer you get to hitting the point of no return. And we can't afford to lose any more pilots. We're already over quota." The Tauran knows how to dodge questions too, it would seem.

Kelsey's expression goes darker and darker. Apparently something was said that did not sit well with her. She nods a few times before hopping off the crate. "If you'll pardon me, I'm going to go wallow in a shower and finish up some paperwork. I came here as a favor." The clipboard is take up as she hops off and she moves to step off.

Niamh sighs and mumbles under her breath in her native language, watching a bit warily as Kelsey shuts down and recognises it as something similar to her own reactions. The sudden movement makes her flinch out of habit and she also pushes away from the crates, standing a bit more stiffly, "Just… don't take it out on Toby. It's not his fault I'm a lost cause." There's a pause, and then the Crewman does her best to stand to attention, giving Kelsey a nod, "Sir."

Kelsey stops half a dozen steps away. She turns to look at Niamh, up and down, then continues walking. "I didn't come here to fix you, Niamh. I came here to be a friend. Friends don't need a cause to lose." But she just keeps walking, moving with a stiffness and frustration. Anger. She's tired, too. And scared. …What the hell would she have to be scared about?

Niamh lets the pilot go, because she doesn't know what to say. Moving forward, she takes up her original position - notepad set down on the crate in front of her, chin propped up by one hand, pencil held idly in the other, staring off into space, back to worrying about things she has no control over. At least for the time being.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License