AWD #263: Not Entirely Platonic
Not Entirely Platonic
Summary: In which Phin and Ygraine have a drink before the invasion of Picon and nothing else happens.
Date: 26/09/2013 (OOC Date)
Related Logs: Just after Air Wing Commendations
Phin Ygraine 
A Storage Room — Deck 2 — Battlestar Orion
Crates and stuff.
AWD #263

There's a storage locker not far from the laundry room that gets some of the warmth from the dryers, just enough to make it comfortable. Ygraine's there with a bottle of booze. It's probably crappy, whatever she could scrounge at a moment's notice. And of course, she's taken the time to change.

Phin got out of his dress grays as quick as he could, and he's in an off-duty tank and trousers when he comes to meet Ygraine. "This place is warm," he notes as he slips through the hatch. It's not a complaint. "I never even thought about checking out the storage spaces next to the laundry." He looks at the bottle, noting the particular type of crappy booze she got, but he's not one to complain about that kind of thing. He's brought his Silverstars mug to drink it in.

"Yeah. It's close to the laundry air vents." Ygraine explains. She uncaps the bottle and pours a few fingers into his cup. "I know we should wait for everyone, but I don't mind gettin' started early as long as we keep it light."

"Not like we're touching off at dawn," Phin says, holding out his cup so she can bartend him. He watches the liquid pour. "That was…" He trails off. He doesn't seem to have quite sorted out what he thinks it was.

"Yeah." Ygraine says softly. "I know. I don't know if I feel right about that cluster on my sash, yeah?" She takes a sip from the bottle.

"Yeah. I…yeah." Phin sips with her. Taking a moment to just swallow and think on that before saying anything. "I mean…they were collaborators. I understand that. Most of them. I get that it had to be done. I just…" He swallows. His feelings on this seem clear enough, he just seems reluctant to voice them. He likely wouldn't, were it anyone else. "…they were people, y'know? They were human. It feels…different."

Ygraine nods. "I know." She finds herself a crate to sit down on, shifting so there's a corner where he can park on it as well. "I tell myself they made their choices, y'know? What I struggle with about these people…their families. I don't if their families had a choice, and what are they gonna do now?" She frowns. "We take responsibility for our actions. There's that."

"Yeah. Their families. Maybe their kids…" Phin's voice catches. He goes to sit next to her on the crate. "And even, like, people who were just…serving drinks or taking coats or…just trying to get along and not get in trouble with whatever new frakking order was down there. I don't know how much those people know about what it's really like, y'know? They made their choices but…" He trails off again, and drinks some more. "…part of me just wants to stop thinking about it. And the other part…I don't want to just act like it wasn't different, y'know? I don't want to be…I don't know. It was different. I don't want to just forget that."

"Don't - " she starts to say, but then stops, and takes another drink herself. "It was different." she admits. "But it wasn't - it wasn't any less our job, okay? Ya gotta know that." Her grip in the bottle tightens as she tilts so her shoulder is pressed to his.

"I know." Phin affirms it soft, leaning a little into the press of her shoulder against his. "Part of why I volunteered was…there's going to be more stuff like that on Picon. I get that. And on Caprica, if we get to fighting there…gods, that's going to be a frakking mess…and the other occupied colonies. And I wanted to…I wanted to see if I had it in me to do that. If I had to. When I had to. I wasn't really sure." He admits it without looking at her.

"And ya do got it in ya." Ygraine concludes softly. "But the trouble is, knowin' ya got it in ya…that ain't somethin' that makes ya feel better. At all."

Phin finishes off what's in his mug, holding it over to Ygraine for a refill. "Yeah," he admits simply. That pretty much sums it. "What'd you think your career would be like? Like, when we got commissioned. What'd you figure you'd be doing in…three years, five years, whatever?"

"Gosh. Three years? I woulda been JG. In five, lieutenant, maybe gettin' ready for captain." Ygraine sighs. "But somewhere between War Day and now, I realized this definitely was a career thing for me."

Phin grins slight. "Yeah. I had the whole captain-by-twenty-eight plan, like, sketched out in a notebook somewhere. I guess I'm still on track for that." Drink. "I guess I figured about the same. Never even imagined having any other sort of career outside the Fleet." He says it with a sort of ambivalence. "And I can hack it, I think. I mean, I'm not like Storm and Grips and those guys who can just cut through a field of Raiders but…I can do what I need to do out there." There's part of this that surprises him. "I just never thought…I don't know what I expected it to be like. But a lot of the guys from my flight class were, like, gunning for assignments on Tauron or Sagittaron. Places like that. Where they could get some combat stuff on their jacket. I kinda liked the idea of doing patrols around a mining installation. Figured…I don't know. I could fly without having to actually…shoot anything." He snorts, well aware it sounds ridiculous.

"Aww, Phinny." she says softly, "Just because ya want peace don't mean ya can't be a man of war when ya need t'be. And there ain't nothin' wrong with wantin' peace while leadin' a military life. We're th'necessity, but I ain't tellin' ya nothin' ya don't know."

Milkshake Knows Storage Rooms, and she's found one near the laundry room that gets some of the heat from the dryers from the vents. It's warm without being too stuffy. Phin's sitting on a crate next to her, drinking some sort of crappy booze. Not that he's complaining. He's not really celebrating either, for that matter. He's shed his dress grays - and his new hardware - for undecorated off-duties. "I know," he says to Ygraine. "I'm…I can hack parts of this better than I thought I might be able to. The whole…war thing." There's an aspect of that that makes him a little uncomfortable. "Which, you're right. Age of Ares is what we got right now. I'll live in it as long as I can."

"Ain't no shame in that. It don't make ya evil or bad or anythin' but worthwhile in service." Ygraine says stridently. "And Ares…what's goin' on with ya and Ares?" she asks finally. "That day…before we took off. I saw your face when ya saw th'Ares sigils on th'preds. This is botherin' ya on a level I don't even know. I just know that it bothers ya."

It's certainly something that bothers him, and something he's never particularly keen to talk about. Phin's not exactly keen on it now, but he does start, a little haltingly. "When my brother went into the Marines, part of the reason he wanted to enlist was that, he kind of felt like he was honoring Ares. Kind of…pay back from what we'd gotten out of the temple school. I just wanted to get away from it. All of it. And I guess I thought by getting into the Academy, even if I was training to be a fighter pilot, it was peace-time and what I really wanted to do was fly and I could be…in it but not of it, y'know? But that was stupid. And I sometimes think…maybe I'm exactly where He wanted me to be, and I didn't even know I was going there. Maybe that's what my life's going to be. Like, what I was made for. Like you make a spear. And that's all it is."

Ygraine lets out a little sigh…and pours more into his cup before taking another swig herself. "Gods, Phin I — " she doesn't seem capable of finishing a sentence tonight. Another breath. "Why d'ya always do this?" she asks. "For a viper pilot who's supposed to be arrogant as frak, ya sure don't got a great view of yourself. Either ya think ain't nobody gonna take ya for exactly who ya are, you're reducin' yourself to bein' just a tool for th'gods. Even th'most laid upon prophet is more than that, and trust me, ya ain't a prophet."

Whatever Phin was expecting from his philosophical ruminations on his broody view of his place in the universe, that wasn't it. And it kind of brings him up short. "I, uh…" He's very good at tying himself up in knots about this kind of thing. And it always surprises him if somebody calls him on it. Probably because people don't, very often. "…I'm not…" But he doesn't immediately have a response that isn't just more of that. Which would probably just get him smacked. He finally says, kind of sheepishly, "I want to make sense of it." He doesn't specify what. The war. His life. Things that probably don't have the neat answers he's shooting for.

"Sometimes it don't make frak all sense." she says. "Look. Th'sacred scrolls say all of this happened before and all of this will happen again. That's pretty damn futile. But th'way I see it? If nothin' we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. So ya gotta know two things, Phinny. The first is that th'people who love ya are gonna love ya and it don't matter if ya were from a hot shot family from Caprica or ya were stealin' cars from Scorpia; more t'the point on that, th'best people are th'ones who don't want ya t'be anythin' but yourself. And for frak's sake, you're so much more than just," she makes a vague gesture, "Ares' spear. Most of th'time I'm the first t'tell folk t'get outta their head and see th'bigger picture, but someone somewhere along th'line made ya feel like ya ain't but a whole lotta nothin' Phinny, and I ever meet them I'm gonna sock 'em in the mouth."

"I don't…" Phin starts off defensively. Except he does, constantly, along with so many other frustrating things, and he can't really deny it. For a second he just stares at her. That was a lot of words about him, and a lot of the things he spends a lot of time making a big deal of to himself. And then, he just starts laughing. Maybe it's the threat to sock people that does it.

Ygraine watches him laugh, and at first she looks highly offended, and then confused, and then suddenly she starts laughing, too. What else can she do? The laughter is helping to take the edge off, but knowing Ygraine, she won't let him forget what she's said.

It's unclear if Phin's laughing at her or himself. Which might contribute to the offense. "You're so mad…" Like it's all joke. Except it's not, and he can't exactly dismiss any of that. Maybe he won't forget it. Maybe. He does eventually stop laughing. Though he still has kind of a bemused grin on his face. "You're a real sweetheart, you know that?"

Ygraine wipes at her eyes, snickering. "Girls ya leave all wide eyed and hopeful at port are sweethearts." she counters with a grin. "I'm so much better."

Phin snickers again himself. "Yeah. You are." He can't do much but agree with that. "Yggs, I…thanks." He doesn't seem totally sure what he's trying to thank her for. A lot of things, probably. He gets a very thoughtful look on his face. Like he's spinning more pseudo-philosophical bullshit around in his brain. As he does. And he half-opens his mouth, like he's going to start on about it. But, instead, he leans over like he's going to kiss her.

If he's going to kiss her, she's not expecting it. She's shaking her head a little, calming down from her own chuckles when she finally turns to look at him, holding out the bottle in offering.

Phin likely did not really expect to do it, himself. The whole thing has a 'Gee, I wonder what this'll be like' quality about it. Not so much tentative as curious. But it's a proper kiss. On the lips, mouth open, which he won't be able to shrug off as an entirely platonic gesture.

Her surprise is evident, and for a split second she's confused, and then she kisses him back with the taste of that alcohol still on her mouth. It's pretty deliberate, rather than drunken confusion, but there's a point at which it starts to get a little heated (at least for her) and she pulls her head away. "Gods, Phin," she says, eyes wide, licking her lips, "What was that?" she can't help but add with a chuckle, "Your mustache tickles."

It gets kind of heated for Phin, too, and he leans in toward her for a second when she pulls her head away. Before pulling back himself, also wide-eyed. He hasn't had anywhere near enough to drink that he can blame it on that. "I…" He fumbles for words for a second before just saying, "I don't know." He so rarely does things entirely on impulse that he never seems to quite know what to make of them when he does. "I just…kind of wanted to see what it'd be like. Now we know." Whelp.

Experimentation. Always the way in which mankind makes great leaps. Perhaps to her credit, the corner of Yggy's mouth quirks upward and she lets out another chuckle as she turns to ace him. "So. What's it like? Kissin' me." She looks him right in the eye. And she has all the alcohol. In other words, he's trapped.

"It was kind of hard to tell," Phin says, and it's unclear whether he completely has no idea what he's doing, or he's sort of messing with her. Or some combination of both. "I didn't get a good sense of it. You wanna do it again?"

She doesn't say yes or no, she actually just grabs him by the front of his shirt and hauls him in. Whether or not he's messing with her, she's a woman of her own mind, and this time if there's surprise, it's not on her part. And this time any call for a halt is due to a need to come up for air, or because he calls for a halt.

He is not so much about halting anything right now. Talking is always the enemy of Phin McBride getting any kind of action, so he shuts up and kisses her again. And again. And again. He just lets it get heated this time, mouth going from her lips to her neck, and lingering there long enough that they'll probably leave a mark tomorrow. When he comes up for air from that, it's to hastily take off his tank top and chuck it into some storage room corner. He's going all in on this particular experiment. Gods help him.

It's not that his mouth on her throat doesn't make her toes curl or anything, but when his shirt comes off, she actually uses that time to keep her head. "Phin, Phin, stop." She's leaning toward him and she's actually shivering a little and all signs point to YES, but she's holding back. "I can't. You're th'one guy on this ship it can't just be - it wouldn't be just this thing we did t'for comfort and t'ease our nerves and because we're curious, not for me." She's already regretting what's coming out of her mouth, but she just can't seem to stop. "It's always been all or nothin' for ya and it always has been, and I can't be another one that don't mean nothin'. Shit." She curses bitterly at the end and starts to get up.

The second 'stop' actually registers with Phin, and he sort of rolls back onto the crate, catching his breath. And now he actually has time to think about what he was doing. Blue eyes widening. "You're not…" He's about to go on. And then he does, but clearly decides to say something entirely different from what he'd started to. "Yeah. No. You're totally right. Sorry." And then he goes to track down his tank. "Bad idea."

"I'm not what?" she asks, turning to look at him. Pausing a minute, she says very quietly, "All I got left of blood, in so far as I know, is Arty. You are," a big breath, "Th'most important person in th'worlds t'me." She runs a hand through her hair nervously, and pretty much looks anywhere but at him. "This is too much. I'm sayin' too much. It's not fair. I'm th'one who's sorry." She reaches for the bottle, lifts and takes a swig, enough to actually make her wince before she sets it down. And yet she still doesn't flee, and doesnt want him to run, and Ygraine finds herself completely conflicted not about what she wants, but about what to do (or not) about it.

"No, no, no, it's totally cool!" Phin says, with his back to her, he pulls on his tank. The surgical scar on his chest is still kind of gnarly, though it's healed cleanly. He's probably not thinking too much about that just now, though. "Sorry. I have, like, no head for booze. What the frak is that, anyway? And Picon's tomorrow and…things. That was totally not me." He turns around and flashes a smile at her. To demonstrate how cool it is. "I always said, us being frak buddies would completely wreck things so…glad we agree."

"Yeah. That wasn't ya." She smiles then, and for a woman who claims she's crap at playing Triad, she's got some serious bluff. Smiles right through that stabbed-in-the-heart feeling "Ain't me, either. You're right. We'd never work as frak buddies." She keeps that smile like a pro and offers him the bottle. "Top off before we hit the rack? Our racks?"

"I'm good, thanks." Phin waves off the bottle. He can't maintain the fake smile for long himself. He doesn't seem to know quite what to do with himself now, other than look at her. "I should go rack out." Though he doesn't immediately flee. "Yggs…I am really sorry. It was just dumb and I shouldn't have…Look, I promise, I am not going to freak out about this. You are my best friend and that means so much, you have no idea…nothing gonna change. Swear to gods."

"Yeah, it was dumb." she keeps that smile on her face like a mask. "We were both dumb, it's a'ight." She takes a step forward like she's going to hug him, halts, and adds, "And ain't either of us gonna freak out. We got each other's backs. We're good. Though ya oughtta find yourself some lil' ensign and see if she wants a nice 'for tomorrow we may die' go 'round before ya go to bed. That's what I'm gonna do." Because nothing says love like unintentionally stabbing each other in the heart.

Phin does wince at that. It's just a quick intake of breath, though. Blink and you miss it. "I should go rack out," he repeats. "Have fun, though." It's a little barbed. Which he seems to instantly regret. He repeats, "We're good. I'll see you tomorrow, and I will have your back. Always will. Good night." And on that note, he does flee.

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