AWD #631: Its Taken Everything Now
Its Taken Everything Now
Summary: Toby makes some hard confessions to Kelsey.
Date: 14/03/17
Related Logs: A Spirited Debate
Toby Kelsey 
Brig - Deck 3 - Battlestar Orion
The battlestar's brig is comprised of a line of four individual cells organized in separate walled-off bays. Each cell is six feet wide by eight feet long and possesses a bed and toilet. Whenever even one cell is occupied, so too is the metal desk and chair at the entrance hatch — and backup for the guard is never far away. Brig rules are posted behind the desk on a white panel with blocked black lettering.
AWD #631

Contrary to his reputation, this is actually only Toby's second time in the brig. Last time he seemed fairly relaxed about the whole process but this past day or so he's been far more abrasive towards the MPs. Not to the extent of actual violence or abuse mind, but his attitude has largely stunk. Right now he's working on burning off some of that aggression by the age old means of press-ups, lots of them, on his fists, since he's got nothing to punch other than bulkheads, and he's not that angry. Yet.

Kelsey shows up at the brig in her flightsuit. The holster and magazine pouches on her survival vest are empty, but everything else is there - just left unzipped. Her helmet bag is put down by the MP's desk and she sighs as she looks at Toby. It isn't so much disappointment as general sadness on her face. Stepping up to the bars, she stops short and rests her arms inside the vest. "Pratt told me, but I was only able to get down here now. I heard what happened from one side."

Generic sounds of movement don't stop Toby's exercise, but Kelsey's voice sure as hell does. He's doesn't quite spring to his feet and cross the cell towards her, but he's not far from it, and if she stops short, he doesn't, and ends up leaning his head against one of the bars so he can keep his voice low and still have it carry. There's something odd in his bearing though, something he's been using the anger to hide, and it's likely apparent to her once he starts to speak. He's anxious, scared maybe. "What happened is I was caught off guard and said a whole fraking load of things I shouldn't have. I've no idea what she's said since, who she's spoken to, but there's things I want you to hear from me before they're all over the ship in the form of twisted rumour and half-truth." He's looking straight at her, almost unblinking, and talking quickly to the point where he's almost tripping over his words. "I'm sorry, I really am. This is not how I wanted to tell you. Frak, I don't know how I wanted to tell you, but it certainly wasn't like this."

Kelsey frowns at seeing his demeanour. Its unnerving for her to see him out of sorts like this. While she tries to scrutinize, he can plainly see the sudden concern on her face and in her eyes. She does step closer to the bars, though, and tilt her head as she looks up to him. "What are you talking about? What could you have said to her?" Mix it in with a healthy portion of confusion.

"I told her why I hate marines," Toby replies, then adds the quick explanation, "and the last time people found it out, I got death threats that were taken seriously enough that they shipped me off Picon to Piraeus. Threats, from marines I should add." So you know, being locked in a cell guarded by marines, deep in marine territory, is doing wonders for himm right now. He takes a deep breath, clearly psyching himself up for this, then begins. "When I was twelve, a few months short of manhood, the duly elected representative of Tauran informed the colonial government that we were withdrawing from said government and going independent. We wanted control of our industry back, stop Caprica, Virgon, and others from strip mining our resources and taking all the profit off world. Long story short, the fleet and marines were sent in to 'pacify' what was classed as a terrorist movement, an insurrection, I forget exactly the term they used." One hand comes up to hold the bars tight, but he keeps going. "We defended ourselves Kelsey, and were butchered for it. Bombs from the sky levelled out cities, tanks and troop columns filled out streets. Bodies of friends and family left out in the open because we couldn't be sure if there was a sniper on overwatch on them or not. We fought back, they wouldn't give me a gun, not until I was thirteen, a man, but I threw rocks, I lured troops off course, I ran messages. I resisted the butchery, and what I saw is why I hate marines. The people they killed is why I had no one left to care about before the cylons hit." He closes his eyes for a moment, letting his head dip so he would be looking at the deck were he looking at all. "That’s it, in it's most basic form. I mean, there's a frakload more, but .. " opening his eyes again, he looks directly at her, searching her face for a reaction, "if that’s too much then I'm sorry, but as I said, I wanted you to hear it from me at least."

That's a lot for her to take in. Way more than she was expecting, even with the warning. Maybe she had other things to say, but they are likely forgotten. There's tears down both cheeks as she stares at him. The girl looks wounded and hurt by what was said, eyes downcast. But she isn't leaving or yelling. "Toby," she whispers to him. "That's why when you saw me in that Marine uniform, it broke your heart." Everything he just said and he latches on to how he looked at her. "Gods I hate you being in there for this talk.

"I'm sorry," is his simple reply. "Once I realised how much I'd said I was turning to leave, was going to walk away and hope she didn't go singing it all from the deckheads, but then she said that perhaps if we weren't such.. " he struggles to say the word, really really struggles, "that if we were such, mudgrubbers then perhaps so many wouldn't have died. And I just couldn't let that lie. Not after she'd talked about throwing grenades at crowds of civilians, killing children. I just couldn't." He's let he head drop too, so his forehead is now resting on the metal and he repeats his opener, "I'm sorry."

Kelsey sniffs once. She lifts a hand like she might try to reach and take his in her own, but there's hesitation and her fingers slowly withdraw. The girl wants to be there for him, to hold him. "She didn't ant to tell me what she called you, just that saying it wasn't something she'd be proud of repeating. I guess that makes more sense." She wipes a thumb at one trail of tear. Looking back up at Toby, she just looks terribly sad. "Hon, I don't hate you for doing what you thought was right at that age. I thought it was a great idea to have a kid. You've never judged me for Melissa." She bites her lip. "kapali was talking about fighting the APF, Tobes, that's different. Their soldiers are kids specifically to frak with us." Her shoulders are slowly slumping. "But you told her all that. In front of Lleufer. Toby, I…" Her face starts to crack a little towards true sadness. She thinks she's going to lose him now. Kelsey might be right. "Toby, you wear your heart on your sleeve and I admire you so frakking much," she whispers past the efforts to keep from really crying. "But this.. I wish you knew what this is doing to me. Or would have. Maybe you wouldn't have said all that.. I- Godsdamnit." Her jaw clamps to keep her from falling into a puddle and she turns a little from him, looking to her bag.

"And if I said I still thought it was right?" Toby said quietly, almost a whisper. "To resist an invading force, a violent occupation? I was on the losing side, but that doesn't mean it was the wrong one." He starts to look up at that but can't bring himself too as he sees her start to turn. "I didn't say all of it," he notes, more for completeness than anything else, "just pointed out that you don't actually have to be brainwashed to oppose the colonial government, and that one reason perhaps that the APF have spread is because their lies are sewn on a tiny fragment of truth that people can be manipulated into latching onto and giving undue regard." Letting his hand drop from the bars he finally manages to look at her again. "If.." he starts uncertainly, "if you need time, frak I mean, of course you need time, go, take it, take as long as you need, do whatever you need to do. It's not as if I'm going anywhere."

Kels crosses one arm under her breast, her elbow on it while she wipes at her eyes. "You still think.. I.. Gods it explains so much but godsdamnit Toby." The Pican girl's shoulders tremble as she hides her eyes. "Toby, you punched an NCO and broke another's NCO's nose who tazed you. A cop. What do you think they're going to do to you?" She looks back to him, obviously and deeply upset. "And now they have inklings that.. that.. you're not loyal? Gods." Toby can watch her heart breaking, the last of what was there, the last few fragments of glass being pecked out of a windowsill. Her eyes stare off and away, down, tears coming without the need for her face to twist. "Its taken everything now." Kelsey slowly turns and goes back to the desk. The girl doesn't say anything else. She takes up her bag and heads for the hatch without another word, people just glancing at her.

There's so much that Toby could say to that, that he's punched NCOs before, that he has no recollection of breaking anyone's nose, that JAG knew his past when he enlisted. Nothing comes out though. Nothing at all. The act of confession had been briefly cathartic but now, watching her reaction, it breaks something inside him. He watches, silently, sadly, until she's out of view, then pivots round so his back is against the bulkhead and slides down until he's sat with his knees up and his arms cradling his head.

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