AWD #096: Imperfect Beings
Imperfect Beings
Summary: Kelsey visits Ceres. Kelsey ends up being removed from the brig, but not for expected reasons.
Date: 13/04/2013 (OOC Date)
Related Logs: If there are no related logs, put 'None' — please, don't leave blank!)
Ceres Kelsey 
Brig
The Orion's brig is comprised of a line of four individual cells organized in separate walled-off bays. Each cell is six feet wide by eight feet long and possesses a bed and toilet. Whenever even one cell is occupied, so too is the metal desk and chair at the entrance hatch — and backup for the guard is never far away.
AWD #96

Its getting on towards later in the evening. Saturday, most of the crew is probably off partying with their families or with each other. The first weekend back with their families and Piraeus is probably a massive party. But walking through the door is that young pilot. She's in her flightsuit, the arms tied around her hips. The two Marine guards are talking quietly and barely give her a glance as she signs in. Empty holster, a quick check over her for weapons. Kelsey looks, to most, about as threatening as a sunny day. She isn't really smiling, though. She just signs the clipboard and sort of looks in the direction of the cell with the Cylons.

Ceres is seated against the bars so the entrance of Kelsey is missed her back is settled there. She's got one leg bent upwards, the other resting against the floor. Only so much room on the bench with three people taking up residence together. She is humming faintly, a simple tune as she taps her hand lightly to her knee in beat. Her head tilts back and she sighs, closing her eyes a moment as if to drift off.

There's the sound of footsteps behind Ceres and then someone settling. "Hey," she says quietly. There's no anger or hostility. Just the quiet word. She's sitting up next to the bars cross legged. She doesn't seem to know what to say though, Kelsey not really looking at Ceres so much as towards her. "Seems like a quiet place," the woman muses.

Ceres shifts, her eyes opening at the greeting before she turns, sitting a bit up more straight. Dark eyes study the young pilot and she lowers her hand her side and offers a drawn smile. "It is now, wasn't last night." Pausing, she finally asks, "What brings you here?" She glances back over her shoulder at Naomi who is sleeping near Knox.

"Yeah, I've been in here myself. Same cell. And I've been down here to yell at someone recently. About you all, actually." Kelsey looks down at the bars where they meet the floor. "I guess I wanted to come down and find out. I don't want to gawk like this is a zoo. I'm pretty sure you don't deserve that." The MPs watch her carefully for a moment and go back to talking. "I wanted to ask you, and only you, why'd give up on your own people for us. What makes a- person, I guess- turn on their whole race?" She picks at a spot of flakey rust on the base of the bars.

Watching the gesture at the rust after the question, Ceres seems thoughtful and sighs. She presses her hand to her face, rubbing at it with her palm before she rolls her shoulders. "I didn't at first…I suppose I should explain that I was a sleeper agent and the woman you knew was not entirely me, she has become more or rather I her. When we don't have personalities, we are just one of many. Like a number. No individuality. We grow to learn this how it is, all we have. Set parameters." She grazes her teeth over her lips and then continues, "I said you were weak, incompetent, jealous, and would kill yourselves even if we did not. But what did I know? I was never supposed experience emotions, become attached. Its why my cover pushed Talkshow away." There is a sad smile, perhaps bitter. "It was he that first changed my mind. I denied it at first…but eventually I admitted I loved him. Long after I had hurt him and pushed him away."

Kelsey listens, still absently picking at the rust with her fingernail. Her hands no longer hold that dark tint of constantly working on engines. Clean, like the rest of the pilots. "So you weren't Ceres? ..But now you're a different Ceres. But the same." She blinks. "I think my brain just fried a little. If you see smoke from my ears, ignore it." There's a ghostly image of a smile that's there and gone in an instant. "My dad used to tell me that people destroy each other when they run out of other things to kill. They do it out of frustration and a need to feel something other than helpless. That we kill each other not just for overt, but unconscious control." She makes a face. "Ceres," she whispers. "Why are we here?" A pause. "The Sister alluded to us being chosen. Did you choose us?" Kels still won't look at her.

"It is confusing. I was always there, I was just hiding, hiding behind the cover they gave me. I could see everything, but she never knew. The cover that is. She still doesn't." Ceres smiles wanly and lets out a sharp clipped laugh before she looks down at her legs and sighs. Slowly her head lifts and she looks at Kelsey, her smile fading. Dark eyes seem like deep wells, endless. "We harm because we are confused…" but the last causes her to catch her breath and then blinks, then turns her head to look down and consider again. "No…I didn't choose you. There may have been a reason for how the colonies were attacked, but you were lucky the Orion was here when it was. If you were picked, it was by something else, not by me." The Captain looks for a moment to be uncertain before she shifts, and draws closer, slowly. "I know we do not share the same faith…but sometimes there is more than us at work. Something higher, whether it is a deity or likewise beings stronger and wiser than us…there is a order to things."

"Is she still there?" Kelsey asks. "What happens if she- what if she wakes up?" The rest has her tilt her head forward more. Squire is listening, even if her eyes say she isn't. At the end, her hand stops scraping and lifts to her lips like she is stifling something and she swallows. There's a jerky nod to follow, then, "Yeah." Hands rubs at her face. "Ceres. We survived. If- if you all are telling the truth, then the Cylons would have expected you to kill us, right?" Restless hands fidget in her lap. "Then.. how?" she breathes, the word almost painful. "How did all of these families survive? This isn't an order, Ceres. I'm not okay with this. How do you rationalize this? You're trying to tell me one of the Gods saved my daughter because of our ship?" This is probably why she came down here.

"Yes. She is." Ceres admits, "I am not sure how to be rid of her. She was never real…people would joke that she was a program, but part of her changed me too." Her dark eyes flit over Kelsey averted gaze and sighs, "She would panic..so long without being aware." A shake of her head and then she is listening to the rest, her brows furrowing. "They knew…they knew that Orion had to be standing. I think? I would guess so after we attacked Caprica and jumped back out. I am certain news got back…when we die…we upload." She explains faintly and makes a motion. "Here…on Orion. If we die here. None of us will live again. We will just die. Lost. It is the most frightening thing…but so is remembering how you died."
"My guess…my guess is they knew about us. Looked up files..talked to the president. And began to gather those that would draw us out. SO they could get rid of us. The unknown factor. It would have meant Knox and I failed at our job. I was to kill you all…but he got rid of my mission. We both decided this is what we wanted."

Kelsey shrugs, her whole being much more quiet. "People have different personalities. Its a disorder, I guess. That poor woman. I don't think I'd handle it well. I'd probably go insane if I found out everything was a lie. God, people would be so pissed." She closes her eyes and leans her bowed head against the bars. Long day. "Ceres, how did our families survive the initial strike? Before they knew the Orion survived. Before they knew you all had failed. Before- before anything. My parents decided to take a random roadtrip to my mom's parent's place that morning. Dad just called in sick to work and they decided to leave. Got outside of town and they nuked the Marine base. My grandmother just happened to find my daughter in the car accident. Before we even knew. Before you could have known." Her shoulders sag, her own mind running in circles. Apparently trying to rectify this has taken a heavy toll. "…Ceres, I never knew why I wanted to have my daughter. I just knew I had to. She is the reason I am here, on this ship. I just felt compelled. Like my hand had been forced. My said I was just stubborn like her. But its not true. If I hadn't had my girl, I'd be on Libran. Libran is.. hell." She sits quietly. "I don't know what to do with this information."

Faith. It is a crazy thing and Ceres looks at Kelsey a long moment, as if the words are itching to leave her lips, to fill the void in her silence. But she bites them back, reaching forward to touch Kelsey through the bars. "Yes, it would be horrible to realize everything was a lie…it is even harder to live what you had of your life through a filter, unable to act. To be. When I woke..it was a blessing. I had my choices." Her voice catches and then she lowers her gaze to her hands. "I do not know why they are alive, I have my thoughts. I have my beliefs. Look to that which could have a hand, your Gods." She tells the young pilot before reaching out to offer her hand. "It must be nice to have family…my family is in here with me now. The only family I have known in my short life. I do not age..I do not change. For as far as I know…what truth there was…was nothing til Orion. Thank who and what you need to for what you have. For the blessings that came home to this ship. To Piraeus. Hold them close. Love them. The more you question, the more meaningless the gift is. Believe you are meant to live, to fight…to be victorious."

"I'm afraid to trust the Gods, Ceres. If they're real, if they had a hand, that means.." Kelsey takes a steadying breath. "I can't deal with that right now." She lifts her eyes to look to the offered hand, the view of the others blocked by her body. She knows she's not supposed to. Fidgeting fingers move and slowly extend, fingertips barely touching? Ready to be snapped away in an instant. "I prayed every night to someone, something, anything that would listen. I just wanted to tell my girl that I loved her one last time. Instead I get my girl back, alive. …Can you have kids? Do you want kids, Ceres?"

There is finally a crack when Kelsey touches her, a small one in that serious exterior. Her stoicism gives slowly and her head drops suddenly and she shakes her head, "No." Its a soft sound, something that cracks in her voice. "And yes…" Her brows furrow and she draws her own hand away, letting it fall. "Imperfect beings, trying to be perfect. So far from it…failing at even the things that most people do not even consider on a daily basis. Emotions…the ability to give life." She swallows and then says faintly, "I do not blame any of you for hating us. For putting us in here. I would likely do the same…" There is that stoicism returning.

"Ceres, I don't even know who you are talking about," she whispers, finally looking up to Cer. "Who are the imperfect beings trying to be perfect? Which ones?" Its not quite a plea, but Kels is confused and a little distraught. "Why wouldn't you want kids? What- That doesn't make sense." She pauses and she whispers once more, even more distraught. "Why do you do that? Why do you close up?" She swallows. "I want to understand and I can't."

There is suddenly anguish at Kelsey's confusion, anguish at everything and Ceres lets out a startling cry and slams her fists into the bars. "We are not like you. We are imperfect…we are defective. We want to be like you and we can't…" Tears start to roll down her face despite what she does. "I can't have kids, Kelsey. I can't. Squire I will never be able to…I will never age…I will never change and its stupid. Stupid for me to want a life like yours. I can't have it no matter how I try. I hate what I am." She says and grits her teeth, staring at the young woman, the anger dying slowly, but still blazing in that pained gaze. The marines are already moving and Redux shakes her head. "Go…love your daughter."

Kelsey starts at the slam into the bars and she just looks even more distraught. She swallows, staring at Ceres as she starts to cry and she looks even more upset. "NO!" she yells back, clearly upset, not quite fighting the MP's as they take her up. "NO! Ceres. Godsdamnit! Get off me!" she cries, as they pick her up and begin removing her. "Ceres! If its real-! If they're real! Ceres!" She's hauled out and the hatch closes behind the Marines. Silence.

Ceres' dark eyes are on the steel floor and she closes them quickly as Kelsey screams at her, lifting her hands to quickly dash the liquid away. Tears. Her fist clenches and she remains quiet, still and the creak of the hatch brings a slow lowering of her shoulders and her hands press to her face. She begins to whisper, to pray.

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