AWD #610: If Command Only Knew
If Command Only Knew
Summary: A Major, a Captain, and a Lieutenant walk into a Rhino… Airwing antics flying high. If Command only knew what its pilots do to blow off the stress of war!
Date: 21/02/2017 (OOC Date)
Related Logs: Stuff (We are very technical here)
Alejandro Kelsey Bennett 
RHINO_744 Location: Deck 3 - Battlestar Orion - Hangar Bay
The interior of the Rhinos are designed with an economy of style. Entry is primarily done via the rear loading ramp to the lower aft deck. The bare walls are done in slate grey and there are three jumpseats on each side of the space with a sealed docking collar on the floor between them and a small armory hatch just fore. The laddersteps leads up to the forward mid-deck where the cockpit is located with the pilot and ECO sitting one behind the other in ejection seats taken right out of a Raptor. The laddersteps also provide access to the upper aft deck which has a small living area for extended operations with three bunks and a small kitchenette with table. Access to the manned gun turrets are via the living area upper aft and through the fore hatch on the lower aft deck. All decks can be individually sealed off quickly via hatch controls at each entrance and on the flight deck.
Fri Sep 08 19:58:14 2006

There's a Rhino parked down on Piraeus, sitting idle and open with traces of … music seeping out from it. It's well out on the tarmac and nobody's scheduled to take it out today. But someone's up in there. They had to have clearance because the MP's on watch don't have any problem with it being accessed. Within there's the sound of a guitar being played, ramlbing on with some pretty interesting interchanges between chords and fingering of riples of notes cascading and weaving in and out in an old melody that was once popular on Scorpia, and elsewhere. No one seems to be down on the lower deck. But up in the gallery…

Alejandro is sprawled in a comfortable heap in a seat. He's dressed in his flight suit of all things, a pistol off of his hip, but his helmet no where to be seen. His flight suit is half peeled off down to his waist and he's in tanks and tags beneath. His dark hair is tossled and looking like it needs a trim, a 4 o'clock shadow stubbling his jaw. In his lap his his beat up old 6 string acoustic guitar, an over night bag thrown on one of the fold down bunks. As if he moved in here to just camp out and sleep over.

There's coffee but it's not been made. There's beer chunked into a bin of ice. And the galley smells of what he's smoking. Getting his ass high as a kite. It's good to be off duty and on a layover.

<FS3> Alejandro rolls Singing: Good Success.

<FS3> Alejandro rolls Guitar: Good Success.

"Who the frak is smoking frakking weed in-" the voice sounds like Kelsey is ready to throw a helmet at someone's head. But then her head rests the small ladder and she gets halfway over it and see's who it is. She blinks. Kels is in her flightsuit and now definitely surprised to see Alejandro up here. She finishes the climb and smiles a little awkwardly. "Oh, uh, sorry Captain Salazaar. Thought it might have been one of my charges." She has a satchel with her, a small black nylon one. She looks over what's ssembled and decides this is more than likely intruding.

The tenor singing the baudy song stops as he looks at her but his fingers keep on playing the tune, if more softly. His head lolls and he smiles at her, "Why if it isn't … Wesssscott. Come on up here." He stops playing long enough to wave her on up. Giddiup, kiddio. "I'm stuck down here tonight, hang'n out. Then heading out to Gods only know where to go chase down some Cylon fleet. Dunno if I'm com'm back. Come up and keep me company. Take a load of crap off. There's beer and … other things. You're off duty, right?"

She better be. Could he get in trouble for being up here higher than shit? Salazar doesn't seem to care. -He- is off duty and that's good enough. His feet are propped up with his boots still on, crossed at the ankles. A hand reaches over to pick up a small tin case that he opens up. Within are fixings to roll himself a cigarette by hand (or a joint) and he starts working on one because his was finished, "Do you smoke? Even if you donnnn't, you should -try- one of /these/. You'lll-llike it." The Captain's Scorpian-Canceron bastard twang is drawling a little richer than usual, rolling his r's and l's beautifully.

Kelsey stares. He slurs her name. Her eyes go wide and juuust when it might look like she was going to twitch her face off, she starts snickering. "Captain, you're up here gettin' higher than shit, aintcha." She grins and steps over to the table as invited. "I'm just here until my Raptor gets fixed in the morning. Was going to crash a bunk and get some work done. …You're going after the fleet? Damn, I'd be gettin' high, too." She flops the satchel up onto the table lazily. "I will be off duty in three, two.." The flightsuit is unzipped and she crawls out of the top, leaving her in a non-reg fitted white t-shirt. Perks of being in charge, probably. She drops into a chair on the other side of the table and pushes back to lean against the wall beside it. "i'll tell you what, its been about seven years since I have smoked a joint. And I do occasionally have cigarettes with booze, ayep." She's definitely eyeing what he's rolling. "What is it?"

Alejandro looks at Kelsey but doesn't bother to lift his head up off of the back of the chair he's slouched down into. "Eyup. I guess I am." Captain Tight Pants lett'n his hair down after reaming o'Charlie Hartmann out the ass last night with a rusty post hole digger for disobeying orders. There's surely a rumor going around on that one (and I need to post it!). Chiron deftly enough puts a generous pinch of 'tobacco' weed onto the paper, lifts it up to lick it and then rolls it like a pro who's been doing this for years. All his years. A barely there crimp of each end and he hands it over to Kelsey with a flourish.

"My lady, I have no idea what is is but I like it. I picked it up from a frriend of mine at Charlie's." Not the same Charlie.

He digs around in his flight suit for his fatigue pockets and draws out a gold colored metal lighter. It has a cast relief of a wicked looking scorpion on it. Jandro flicks it open and bestirs himself to lllleeaaannn forward, tipping his guitar almost out of his lap to light Kelsey up. "I'm gonna rrrrollll me one too. Then, got any requests?" Music he means. Probably.

Footsteps in the packed dirt tarmac; someone on their way by, who altered course to see whether they were imagining voices coming from the parked rhino or not. Thunk, thunk, thunk up the ladder, and a dark haired woman - in skintight jeans, a faded tee and a bomber jacket with various fighter patches on it - leans halfway into the open hatch to try to get the lay of the land, as it were. "…Wescott? Salazar?" Another major might sound unimpressed, but Bennett merely seems amused.

Kelsey isn't going to turn this down. Especially when there is beer and coffee. Maybe even munchies in the galley cupboards. "It'd be bee's knees if there's any food up here with all this. Pretty ideal little apartment set-up." She just watches him roll it up with that ease, grinning inwardly. Sitting forward, she reaches for it and sniffs it once. Huh. "Ensign Flynn smokes this stuff. She loves it. Heard something about you and a Charlie, though." Snickersnicker. Leaning forward, the girl puts the J to her lips and puffs it twice. Puffed thrice, she blows out the flame at the tip and leans back into the chair and takes a deep inhale. "That's a wicked looking lighter. Always thought scorpians were terrifying. I still do." A pause. "The- the pinchy stabby thing." She exhales. "Not the people. People are cool." She deflates and looks at the joint between her fingers. "This.. I need to smoke more of this." The girl tilts her head back, though, at hearing Bennett's voice. The Major is met with a low grin. "Hey. The Captain is corrupting me. You- you should get corrupted." She gestures closer with her other hand and pulls on the joint with the other.

LOOK! A space elf appears! Alejandro eyes Bennett and it takes him a second or three to recognize her and remember who she is. Not Arpay, it's St. Clair. He has a guitar in his lap, a golden hued lighter in hand with a nasty looking scorpian on it, and seems to be rolling cigarettes. Only Bennett knows better. She knows what that delicious smell is. Salazar gets a few puffs and gets a nice hit off of his before he flips the lighter closed. "Of course there's food. I'm camp'n out." Spicy sausage, sharp cheese, chips, Sangrea, fruit to put into the Sangrea, several other things a Latino man born of Scorpia wouldn't forget while shopping around Sheridan.

A hand motions Bennett to come on up, "Join us." With a little effort to keep from dumping his guitar out of his lap, Alejandrop reaches crosswise with both hands and pulls his tanks completely off to toss them aside! There's a scar on the right side of his neck where he took scrapnal not long ago, healed up but still vivid. He leans forward and twists to point at his back so Kelsey can see.

"Scorpians are wicked." All down his bare back is indeed a great big pretty good tat of a bad ass scorpian, looking lethal ready to fuck with somebody. A moment later Chiron leans back in his seat and takes another hit off of his smoke before he holds the tin out for Bennett to roll herself one. He knows she knows how.

Bennett hesitates a moment. She probably shouldn't be encouraging this behaviour in Fleet property of all places. But technically, she isn't a squadron leader. She isn't even an active duty pilot. So with a bemused smile, she climbs the rest of the way up the ladder, shuts the hatch, and finds a spare seat to settle into. The tin is reached for with a wink; she does indeed know how. "Is there a story behind it?" she asks Alejandro. "The ink, that is." Ooh, Sangria. She'll make herself a glass, if you don't mind.

Kelsey goes into a lean, already starting to slouch like she's melting. "I like how this rolls in nice and smoooooth," she sighs, exhaling as she speaks. Her words are briefly deeper for it. When Alejandro twists, brows loft. "See, I need tattoos. Cool ones. That- girl- the one. On Deck. She drew me some." The one with the hair. Wears orange. There is interest to see how Bennett handles rolling a spliff, but when the Major sits down and starts going to work, Kelsey stares. "This isn't fair. I'll never be as cool as you, Major. You, like, you smoke. And you fly. And you have glittery pretty rank. I wanna be cool enough to get high with someone under me- but, like, that's probably be bad." She starts giggling. "Oh! Can I get a cup of that??"

Alejandro smiles beautifully, "Getting high with someone under you is ideal. Some of my best sex when I've been blasted." He gives a mellow nod, "In my uncouth youth I was in a street gang in the Cicero slums called the Escorpins! We did all kinds of illegal shit. Drugs, fenced, muled weapons, whatever a bunch of dumb kids could do to feel tough, beat the heat, and entertain ourselves in a bleak world of little hope. I was dirt poor, you see. My kid sister, Zhenn… she ran away when she was … 12 or so. I thought sshe went to become a prositute and I was mad. Pissed. Our mother was dead 'n my father, he worked the shipyards, see? But a few years later, I slept with the wrong gal, got her knocked up."

Another drag on his cigarette. The guitar's still in his lap so he picks it up and lays it carefully aside for now. "Throw me a beer, won't you?" Slow exhale, "Anyway, her father wanted to kill me. Litterally. So my fattherrr, he pulled some strings with some friends. Called in debts and favours, and got my ass into the military. I was tested, and got into flight school as a politician's poster child for cleaning up misbegotten youth!" Did they -really- want to hear this?

Laughter from Saint Clair. "If you breathe a word about this to the squadron, Wescott.." The threat lacks teeth though. She knows Kelsey won't go around running her mouth about it. "There are a couple of people aboard who can ink you," she notes with a smile, pouring Kelsey a glass too. A few slices of apple and a wedge of orange are dropped in, and she leans forward to hand it to the girl. The major, of course, is covered in ink: only the flowery curls of a piece that sprawls along her left arm, and ends at her fingertips can be seen at the moment though. There is no comment on Alejandro and his best sex; she'll pretend she didn't hear that one. She does, however, pass him his beer.

Kelsey giggles again. "No. No way. This is totally one of those stories you tell like twenty years from now. 'I remember, when I was a young and big-eyed Lieutenant, I got high with a Major once…'" she proposes letting her hand draw across the air in front of her as if the scene unfolded after passing through. He just holds a smile there. The glass is taken with a lift and cheers in thanks. "I should get ink. I need something permanent in my life." The girl goes back to her melting slouch and looks to Ale, listening while she smokes. "Didn't you, like, come in before the war? How did people overlook that? I mean- what, like you never got caught? I didn't realize you came from something like that. Actually. That's pretty cool. Way cooler than being the girl. Been there." She waves and waggles the spliff at Alejandro, "Done that. Got the t-shirts. Literally. Though I like the idea of getting laid whilst high on this glamorous little plant. Just floooooat with it."

Alejandro waves a hand languidly, "Well, I pretty much had the choice. Go to prison, maybe get murdered, or join the military. So I didn't … exactly join very voluntarily." Bribes may also have been paid. "Anyway, things like that on Scorpia and Canceron both? All the time. Corrupt as hell. Not so much up in the shipyards though. That was Fleet territory." Salazar makes some sort of gesture with his hand that's vague, "Anyway, they expected to wash me out anyway. But I thought hard about it and decided, maybe it was the break I needed. So I /actually/ studied, did favours to get help, tutoring, anything. I didn't want to work the shipyards. Didn't want to go back to the slums. Didn't want to think about what happened to my sister. I managed to talk my way through all kinds of shit and somehow I graduated. Slick as can be."

The Captain nods his noodly neck, "Yeah, well before the war by some years. I was an LT by the time the war broke out. I was on Picon. Got shot down almost right awaay." The beer is accepted. Ale puts down his smoke to pop the top and get a drink. "Twice. Then the Cylons, they got hold of me."

Kelsey drinks and smokes, alternating one to help enjoy the other a little more. She is a soul who enjoys all vices and does not discriminate. All should get judicious love. Well, most of them. "Sometimes you just have to throw people into shit they don't expect in order to get some surprising.. like.. reactions. I never thought I'd be good at flying, I just knew it wasn't Deck. I even tried to resign. Bennett wouldn't let me." She puffs. "I've never been too bright. This is no secret, even from me," the girl laughs lazily. She tips the glass to get a slice of orange. Nomnom. "Getting shot down sucks. A lot. Your mileage may vary."

"Oh, it sucked bad." Ale leans forward to try and tug up his pant leg to show Kelsey the scars and burned flesh of his right leg but no, flight suit and boots. He gives up on it and leans back to drink and smoke. "Busted my leg, got burned. Some folk drug me out of the wreckage, told me to pose as their son who was a flight mechanic. Said if the Cylon got wind I was an officer, or worse a pilot, that'd be real bad." Yep, he nods. He sighs, "But Spree's people got me out and after I got shot down a third time, I ended up here." Or maybe his leg got busted the third time? He's too fraked to the wind to remember which order precisely all that happened. "That's why they used to call me Hobo. Scruffy, homeless POW and kind of a pilot reject." His smoke is almost out again but he's not going to need another one for a little while.

Alejandro adds after a minute, "Turns out, my sister didn't become a prostitute. She become an ECO in the Fleet. I ran into her on the Orion. But she's dead now. Blue Axe."

"I beg to differ," Bennett interjects to Kelsey, voice soft and silky, a little moreso than usual due to the joint she's got going on there. "Stupid people can get lucky, but nobody gets lucky for as long as you have." She sips her sangria on the heels of the pull from her joint. "Have some faith in yourself." When Alejandro mentions the cylons having gotten hold of him, her smile vanishes. She watches him curiously, but doesn't advance along that line of questioning. Not yet. Something about it seems discomfiting to her, and prompts another, longer toke from her hand-rolled cig.

"Those burns are the worst," Kelsey musses, looking at the joint in her hand. This place is hotboxing fast. All glory praise be to Smokey, the God of Indulgence. "I think that callsign worked pretty well and stuff. Like, thats just funny and sad and… frakkin accurate," she chuckles. The point about his sister gets a touch of a surprise. "I had no idea. Who was, like… you-" she tries to remember the word. "Sister." You can do it, Kels. She then waggles her joint a bit in entertainment to Bennett's words. She hugs herself, but is smiling. "I am a motherfrakking paragon of excellent decision-making prowess. …And I think I just used up all the big words I know." Kelsey starts tittering and giggling to herself. "I think the Captain has been shot down more times than I have. Whatcha think?" Browwaggle.

Bennett draws his attention. Alejandro is having a little trouble focusing because he's been smoking so much. He's forgotten he has a beer for the moment, sitting cold and forgotten in his left hand. "She's right. You can't be that dumb and be that lucky too. You've been through shit and fire both. You're a survivor, and a fighter. We do what we .. gotta .. do." Whoa, Kelsey's using some big words all strung together there. Shirtless sprawled Salazar eyes her, distracting him from Bennett's scrutiny of himself. "Yeah, sister. Zhen was my sister. Raptor girl… ECO. She turned out … good." By the Gods, he misses his little sister. Ale can't hide the pain in his voice when he spoke of her just then.

He finds a cold beer sweating in his lap. Where did that come from? Drink.

Bennett isn't stoned yet, but she's just starting to look a little more relaxed and at ease. Her body drapes bonelessly in her chair, legs kicked out in front of her and crossed at the ankles. "We do what we've got to do," she murmurs in agreement, flicking some ash off the end of her rollie. And then she pronounces: "Zhen did very good. But she had trouble with pants." Whatever that means. Then she remembers that Alejandro isn't wearing a shirt, and giggles. Because it's funny. One can't keep his shirt on, the other, her pants. Gods.

Kelsey shruuuuugs. "I got my GED. I was going to be to Libran and study.. uh. Computer. Slinky. …Science. If I was there I'd probably be milking cows right now. Book smarts are easy. I think I'm just good at flying," she laughs airily. She swills the smoke around her head, watching it, listning. "Zhen was your sister? Wowwww. I mean, the last name and all, I just.. huh. Did you ever even tell her you thought she was a hooker? Betting tht would have gone over like a bucket of bricks." Snicker snicker. She takes a big sip of her drink and looks to B. "You remember that Viper pilot at the start of the war that would take her pants off in public for no good reason? Man.." She tilts her head back, letting memories wash. "I feel like I'm riding a unicorn out of a spa and salon," she blurts happily to the ceiling overhead.

What happened to his joint? Wasn't he smoking? It's gone. Fell down his flight suit or something but Ale can't find it. He finishes off his beer and sets the empty aside, interlacing his fingers in his lap and looking sleepy. "Pants?" Salazar blinks with exageration that he's completely unaware of, "Hmmm… " St. Clare starts /giggling/ and that totally derails his train of thought. Wreck. It fascinates him seeing the Major GIGGLING!

With an effort, Ale peels his eyes off of her to loook at Kelsey. There she is. "Hooker. Yesss. She sslapped me. Chewed my ass out. But I didn't care. I hugged her, I was sooo glad to see her." Then he frowns, "I miss her a lot. She was fun. My little sis."

"I remember her," Bennett drawls softly, her accent dipping into something decidedly less upper crust now that her guard's down. "Shan.. Shannnsomething. Sarah? Frak, I don't know." She exhales smoke ceilingward and murmurs, "Who shut the hatch?" Uh, she did. "I'd have slapped you too, you called me a hooker," she informs Alejandro matter-of-factly. "But family's important. Some point, I guess we've got to start making babies again, right? Can't have families without babies.." That was quite the tangent.

Kelsey is just letting this stoner revelling take over her life for the moment. Her squad commander is giggling. The other one is high as heell and has run his frak-tank dry - no more to deliver. "You had it coming. I'd have enjoyed seeing that. Hell, its been such a long war I totally might have seen it and just.." She does that little hand arcing thing again. "Totally forgotten." The girl just stares at the ceiling and finally melts enough that she kick her legs out onto the last empty chair. "Hell if I can remember her name. I remember calling her Ankles cuz that's where her pants lived." Nothing could wipe that dumb grin off her face. She smokes on the last statement from Bennett and eventually exhales straight up. "That's my plan. Get out, instruct for a few years, then move to P and have a big family. I haven't settled on a husband or wife. I could do with either. …Are either of you married??" That suddenly occurs to her to ask, but she isn't godadsamned moving and you can't make her. Neener.

Alejandro has -no idea- who they are talking about. Must have been somebody before his time, or he missed a lot. Possibly the latter. "Oh no. I'm not marrrried." A rolled 'r' there. "Nobody's ever going to want to marry an asssshat like me." Even though he's really, REALLY relaxed and looks like he might fall asleep at any time now, Ale reaches over and carefully picks up his beat up old guitar as if it were the most precious thing left in his world. He lays her gently in his lap and without bothering to sit up, his hands find their rightful positions and he gently begins to play, something sad and sweet, haunting.

<FS3> Alejandro rolls Guitar: Good Success.

"Ankles!" Bennett giggles again, and points at Kelsey with her cig. "I called her that, too." Frakkin' vipers. Present company excepted. Or is he! "Oh, oh, I have an announcement." She fetches her lighter from her lap, and clinks it against her glass of sangria a few times. "I.. have slept with a lot of women. And a few men, too. But someone finally wants to put a ring on it.. and I am going to let him. I mean, what the frak am I thinking? A marine?" A glance is shot to Alejandro for his sad music. "What is that, a dirge?" It might be a serious question.

"I'dd marry you if you promised to tell me daily that Raptors're better than Vipers. I don't have a lot of standards." Kelsey tilts her head just enough to Bennett to wink. She pulls on the smoke again, looking straight up, then sipping more of the glass. The clinkyclinky has her lift her head finally and she looks at Bennett. The announcement has her peer at the SL. "First, I want you to knwo that I am totally, totally hugging you right now. I am.. emotionally.. hugging up. There is excitement. This feels good. I'm just high and I don't want to knock over the super interesting smoke ring behind you." Priorities. "Second? That's super cool. …Oh my Gods, the guy whose bed you were next to. Hey. He's a good choice. It could be worse. Really. There's that guy with the lisp and that hairy mole. He works in, like, 3M or something."

Wait, what?! Alejandro forgets about his guitar and stares. At Bennett. "Can I sleep with your women?" Several blinks trying to digest what the Major said. "A /Mar-reeeen/? Are you out of your mind?" Who the hell are the Marine officers on board? "AMOS?" Oh my gawd. Please, no. That crusty old bucket? The viper Captain looks like his bottom fell out. Wow, that would be so aweful. A pretty woman like St. Clair and -him-? "Isn't he old enough to be your … father, or something?"

Kelsey gets a /look/ from the viper pilot, "I -am- right here. It depends on what you need the aircraft to /do/, Lieutenant. Vipers are better for dealing with Raiders." Helllo! Where's the smoke ring?

Bennett's eyes drift up and then over to the smoke ring. It takes her a bit to find it, because, well, she's a bit baked. And focusing is hard. "Hmm." That is a pretty good smoke ring. But then Kelsey keeps talking, something about mole guy and then Amos gets thrown into the mix and, "I don't know, maybe he's good in bed." Amos? "Who the frak let the viper jock in here, anyway." What does he know about raptor superiority? The major leans her head back and tries to make another smoke ring. It takes a lot of focus.

Kelsey stares at Bennett as she blows smoke rings. "I like Vipers. Hard to frak in a Viper, though. Raptors are way easier. You gotta try it." It isn't clear who Kelsey is talking to, she's just leaned in her chair slightly, watching the smoke rings. "It just occurred to me that we're all off the ship and Robin is in charge." That part because emminently funny to her and she starts giggling so hard she almost falls out of her chair, turning to her left before slowly rising. "I'm gonna get the keys. Ale, bring your guitar. Lets go look at stars or something up close and Ale can be pretty." The ladder stairs are difficult. She only his her elbow on something once. "No. Bad bulkhead. …No, you shut up. I will kick you." … -Krrraaannng- "OW."

'It just occurred to me that we're all off the ship and Robin is in charge.' Best line -ever-. Even Alejandro starts snickering, then giggling, then he outright laughs! OMGerd, that's about the funniest thing EVER. Well, he is stoned. And then Kelsey wants to light this bird up and flllyyyy and keeps bumping into shit and kicks something down below. Lords and Ladies of Kobol, Captain Alejandro 'Tight Pants' Salazar gets to laughing so hard he can't breath. Oh gods, it hurts. But he eventually gets his breath, wiping tears from his eyes, "I love her. I'm not gett'n up." He picks his guitar back up and tries to focus what's left of his mind on playing something. Keys? Are there really keys to this thing? If there are, they are probably in Ale's pocket. Is Kelsey going to come back and reach down into his pants to fish them out? Good luck with that.

<FS3> Alejandro rolls Guitar: Success.

"I have," Bennett notes with a dreamy smile to Kelsey's comment about frakking in raptors. Well, of course she has. Robin being in charge is indeed inexplicably funny, and she giggles too. And the more Kelsey giggles, the more St. Clair giggles, and pretty soon she's wheezing and drying tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "Gods, Kelsey, you have got to sit down. You are going the wrong way." And then Salazar starts laughing too, which means she's giggling once again. "Kelsey! We love you!" To Alejandro, she mouths, "Should we stop her?"

"Bananas!" comes the reply from the cockpit. "BAAAA~~~ Naners!" She then gets on the intercom and the overhead speakers crackle and her voice is lowered as she speaks into it, sounding every bit the airline pilot. "This is your Captain speaking. We are cruising at the speed of stoned at an altitude of high as frak. If you look forward to the pit you'll notice the pilots that frakking loves you too. Major Bananers. Captain Ale Hots-Now. Please return your seats to your reclined positions and kick our your tray tables. Lez go flllly…"

Alejandro stops playing a moment. "I dunno. Which is more dangerous? Jumping foreverrr-farr-away to go find the Cylon fleet, or Wessscot flying?" That's a real toss up. He sighs, "All right." Guitar gets put aside AGAIN. Guests are such a pain in his ass. The Captain gets himself up and goes to the ladder, "Wessscot! No flying. Bad." Does he get an answer? Salazar lllleeans over to try and look down.

And puts his foot out…

Alejandro falls down the ladder! There's a loud THUMP below. It's sort of more like a crash. Then after a minute of silence, "I'm OK."

Kelsey doesn't ask about Ale. No, she is fully engaged in PewPew artistry up front. She's even shaking the stick and controls to pretend to fire the gun. "Buddahbuddahbuddah!! WOOHOO!!" The drink is swilled and sipped. "This thing, like, TOTALLY lacks two things: An obnoxious car horn and a cupholder." Dramaticsiiiigh!

"BUDDAH BUUDAH BUDDAH!! "PewPew motherfrakkers!"

Somewhere behind her Alejandro doesn't get up from the Rhino's Deck. He fell asleep.

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