AWD #024: Grieving and Hoping
Grieving and Hoping
Summary: A measure of both after the return from bad times over Aerilon, and the loss of Captain Cole.
Date: 31/01/2013 (OOC Date)
Related Logs: Air Attack Aerilon
Phin Thaddeus Ygraine 
Room Name
The berthings for the Orion's Air Wing are the same as what one would find on any other Mercury-class Battlestar, though they are distinctly different from the rest of the bunks on the ship. These bunks are separated not into sections of sixty, but by squadron. That means that there is a little more room to move around with only twenty to twenty-five pilots in one bunkhouse. Some officers have brought a small rug to sit in front of their bunks, but the tables and chairs are standard military issue. At the rear is a small couch that was probably new when the ship left anchorage and seems to have been kept carefully clean. The crest of the Gentlemen Ghosts has been painted onto the wall behind the couch, as well.
Wed Jan 30 2005

Ygraine is laying on her bunk. She's not having a sulk, but there's definitely something quiet about her. Of course, there's plenty in the wing right now who are quiet, now that Janitor's MIA.

Phin knocks before entering the Raptor berths. He's polite like that. Though the hatch is slightly ajar anyway, and nobody stops him, so he just slouches in. He's still in his flight suit, though he's unzipped it and deposited his helmet somewhere. He's still sweaty and post-cockpit bedraggled, so he hasn't gotten to the showers yet. He looks ragged, though he's far from the only one.

"You look gross." When he comes close, Ygraine smells strong of mint; she brushed her teeth several times after she lost her stomach on the deck. She moves to sit up and holds out a hand, curling her fingers inward in a beckoning gesture.

"You totally know how to build a guy up, Yggs," Phin says wryly. He tries to smile, but it kind of fails. He reaches out to take her hand, and sort of flops down to sit next to her. Shoulders sagging. That was exhausting. "How's Redux? By the time we got back to the Deck they had already…I didn't have time to…"

"They're seein' to her hand. Otherwise she's okay." Ygraine says wearily. She leans against him in a similar sort of half-seated, half-laid down kind of way. "You alright? I know a lot of people are grievin'. Grievin' and hopin'."

"We abandoned him." Phin says it softly, but starkly. "He ejected, Storm saw his shoot go off and we just…we left him down there, with those…" He swallows. "It's bullshit. Storm and I were fine, we could've stayed in longer, we could've provided support for a Raptor to go pick him up, we didn't have to…" How true any of that is questionable, but it seems true to the ensign just now. "Frak those orders. I shouldn't have left him. He's going to die down there." His tone is equal parts anger and self-recrimination. He doesn't look at her while he says any of that, just staring at his hands, fingers laced together on his knees.

"There were basestars coming." Ygraine says after a moment. "Maybe you weren't eyeballin' your DRADIS, but I was. And there basestars blippin' in on the edge of the readout, and if you'd stayed, you wouldn't have rescued Janitor, you'd have blown up to pieces along ith Holtzy and anyone else who'd stayed."

"We should've done…we should've tried…" But Phin can't really rationalize what they should've done in the face of an oncoming basestar. He stumbles, trying to come up with something more to say, and just failing entirely. So he just sits there next to her, leaning against her, quiet for a long moment. When he does manage to speak again, "You OK? Deckies said you put that Predator down like a champ." They might've also said she barfed on the deck, but he does not add that part.

"Is that all they said?" Ygraine sounds pretty skeptical. She's not…entirely ashamed of having chucked, not with the dream landing. "Yeah, it was just like squeezin' a nip to get the milk in the pail." Not that she likes the idea of ever having to do it again. "I wish my instructors back at flight school had seen me do that." She glances sidelong. "Glad you're okay."

"Yeah, that was pretty much it," Phin says, and he does manage to crack just the faintest half-smile. It so totally wasn't it. He slings an arm around her shoulder, giving her a quick squeeze. "Whatever. Like you can't do everything us dumb fly-boys can do. Glad you're OK, too."

She smiles faintly at that. "Yeah, I guess I can. But man, what is it with Ceres and gettin' shot at? That woman has the worst luck." she sighs, and continues to lean against him. He's useful, like a pillow. "You check in with Bear, yet? He's probably worried about you."

"Luck's a bitch, one way or another," Phin mutters. As to his brother, he nods. "Yeah. I let him know I wasn't dead." It's a joke, but it's not. "What do you think that basestar'll do…to the people down on Aerilon…?" He has some thoughts plainly, but he doesn't voice them.

"Dunno." she admits. "I mean, Aerilon's value in any other circumstance would be supply. But the Cylons don't eat." She peers at him a moment. "But I know you well enough to know how your brain likes to make pathways. What're you thinkin'?"

"I don't know," Phin says softly. "I guess…I don't know. Maybe the Cylons'll…take it out on the people down there, somehow, for what we did. What we tried to do. But…Aerilon's resisting them…so…maybe they'll…I don't know." He sighs heavy. He doesn't want to think about it. "And Janitor's gone and…what the frak did we do…?"

"Holtzy reported his parachute deployed?" Yggy asks. "So he ain't gone. He's just…look, he's well trained." Ever the hopeful, she is.

"He dropped over a spot where the toasters had set up anti-air guns." Phin is a fairly committed pessimist about most things, deep down. This is no different. "But…yeah. I mean. He made it to the ground. There are people there. Maybe." They have the sound more of words he feels vaguely obligated to say than anything he actually believes. "He was a good guy. Crazy sometimes. Awesome stick, though. Wish I could fly like that. And he was from Scorpia which…I don't know. Didn't matter, I guess, but felt like we were on the same page about some stuff. I liked him. I liked Talkshow, too. And that Marine chick who used to be a pop singer. Cervantes. And just like that…"

"Stop it!" she hisses at him. "You don't know that he's dead. There's no sense in carrying a coin for someone when we don't know that they need the ferry. And mourning for someone when you don't know for sure is going to put you in a state." Phin when he's like this clearly upsets her, so she acts out by giving him a sharp pinch on the bicep.

"Ow!" The pinching snaps Phin out of that particular depressive spiral. His brooding takes concentrated effort. He tilts his head slightly to face her. "You are so mean." A pause, and he manages another little smile. "Thanks."

Ygraine dosn't exactly give the wobbly lip, but she does widen her eyes and give what can only be a woobie look, designed to make him laugh before she seriouses again. At least as much as she can serious. "You're welcome. But…the best you can do by Janitor is have faith that he'll be okay until we hear otherwise. Not before."

Phin laugh, in spite of himself. "Right. I should ask our foster CAG about that tomorrow." It's a joke, of sort. Though he's serious when he says, "What're going to do about it. We have to go back and check for him. We owe him that much, at least."

She nods. "He's well trained." she says again. "We gotta make sure Pie doesn't take it to the gut. He can't wind up losin' his shit like Bumper. K? We'll see to it."

"OK. I mean, yeah. Much as we can. I won't…I mean, you were right. Not like there's anything he could've done, sticking around longer, except get more people killed." Not that Phin is happy to admit it, but does.

Thaddeus arrives from the Squadron Berthings.

Ygraine and Phin are perched on her bottom bunk rack. It's kind of a cuddle, except she's just pinched Phin on the arm, and they're clearly comisserating in post-action blues. "That's right." she tells him firmly. "So look at it this way; it's good that you feel bad because it means you're human, but at the same time, be clear headed and know the only thing you might have done is either wind up stuck on Aerilon or get blown to itty bitty bits. And then I'd have to tell Bear, either way. Would you want to leave me to have to go tell him that?" Nudge nudge.

What's worse than post-action commiseration? Lack of post-action commiseration, if Thaddeus's dark frown counts for anything. He stalks in through the hatch in sweats and a tank-top, hair towel-dried in all directions, flight suit thrown over his shoulder, and stops short, squinting hard at Ygraine and Phin. (It's his concerned frown, but the Hundred Frowns of Thaddeus are a subtle thing.)

Phin is still in his flight suit, though he's at least unzipped the thing and put his helmet away…somewhere. He nudges Ygraine back, getting another very faint smile out of that. "Yeah. Then you guys'd, like, cry like little girls or something. Which'd be pretty pathetic. So…yeah, not so much about that." He seems to notice he's being squinted at, and blinks up. Oh, Thaddeus. "Hey, sir."

"Frak you," Ygrinae responds with a grin. "I'm gorgeous when I cry, and I'd probably get a sympathy frak from your hot brother." She's saying that to tease him of course, and to lift his spirits. Looking over at the new arrival, her smile seems welcoming enough. "Hey, Dub. You okay?"

"/You're/ okay," replies Thaddeus, curtly. He blinks, as if replaying what he just said inside his teeny-tiny pilot's brain. "Both of you. Heard Aerilon wasn't full of country charm. Frakking CAP. Need the flask, there, Dolly?" His comments are as restless and hopscotch as his gaze, skipping from bunk to bunk as he strides toward his own.

"You are not frakking my brother!" Phin is a little high-pitched on this point. But he's definitely not brooding anymore. So there's that. "That'd be…weird. And also fraternization. So…like, not just generally wrong, but also wrong according to the Colonial Navy." To Thaddeus, he replies. "Viper wasn't even scratched. I'm good. And thanks, but…" Whatever polite refusal Phin was going for, he forgets about it. "Yeah. Actually. Yeah. Thanks."

Ygraine just laughs and laughs. "Maybe I will and maybe I won't, but I love how it makes you dance around like a fretting chicken." She leaves it at that, and asks, "Can I have some too? Please?" Because hey, her nerves are a little frayed.

"It's only fraternization if they catch you." So says Thaddeus, classy guy that he is, complete with a rude little chuckle in the back of his throat. He throws his locker open, hanging his flight suit away, then turns back toward the ensigns. "Heads up," he calls, before lobbing his trusty flask toward them, underhand. May the fastest hands win. "Janitor bought his farm, I hear," he says, eyes down as he hunts for his ciggies.

Phin stares at Thaddeus. Not helping. "I don't fret," he relies to Ygraine defensively. Apart from all that time he spends fretting. At least he's got good reflexes, and his hands snap forward to catch the flask. He doesn't reply right away about Janitor. First he unscrews the top, sniffs, and swigs. A larger amount than he should've. He's not used to gulping whiskey. He makes a face before swallowing it with a gulp, then passes to Ygraine. Though after drinking, he shakes his head. "Storm saw his shoot pop. He ejected. And we were close enough to the surface that it was a doable drop." The surface, with its Cylons and anti-aircraft guns. And they didn't linger around Aerilon. Not that Phin mentions these things.

"What Phinny said." Yggy insists. "His parachute deployed. There's bound to be a rescue op." She takes a swig of the booze, adding to Phin with agrin, "But you do dance." Another swig, and then she holds it back out to Thaddeus.

"Yeah?" There's an appearance of Thaddeus's relieved frown, then. "Didn't hear that bit. Good to know." He rubs his towel-wild hair a couple times before he heads over to retrieve his flask. "Worse places he could bail over, yeah? Could've been Tauron." Smirk. He knocks back a swig as well. "He'll have the colony repopulated by the time we pick him up."

"I might. On occasion. When the spirit moves me," Phin replies wryly to Ygraine. He winces at mention of Tauron. "Don't figure we'll be headed there anytime soon. Maybe back to Picon next. Once we pick up Janitor. Who's totally alive." He holds out a hand, he will take that flask again when you're done with it, Thad. "That ECO we picked up - Gallo - was talking about their resistance there. What they're trying to do, at least."

Ygraine makes a scrunchy face at the mention of Gallo, but otherwise doesn't offer comment. "Aerilon, Picon, Leonis…though you know the one that weirds me out? Aquaria." she remarks absently. "All those people allegedly just going about their lives with a basestar right over their heads. Who the frak does that?" As an afterthought, "I thought Janitor was doing a whole Hestian virgin thing."

"That is weird," Phin concurs about Aquaria, frowning. And drinking. Because Thaddeus totally passes that flask back to him. Just a sip this time. He does not actually want to burn the back of his throat. Just a few braincells. "Seriously creepy, too. The toasters must be doing something to those people. I mean, they took out the spaceport, right? So nobody can leave. There's a bunch of scientific equipment down there. Maybe the Cylons want it intact, need the scientists intact for…something." To Ygraine, he shrugs, offering her the booze again. "He's married. I think. I mean, he wears a wedding ring. I don't ask people many personal questions."

"You're smart that way. Of course, I just go telling you all my personal stuff anyway." she notes gleefully. "Huh. Didn't know. I don't hang out with him a lot." Yggy refuses to use past tense.

"Well, you're an open book, of mostly awesome," Phin says with a grin. "I don't know that we hung out exactly, but he's our squad leader now." His own use of the present tense is a bit more careful, but he does try. "Comes off as kind of crazy sometimes. Or he did, before they promoted him. Seemed to level him out. Kind of. I wonder what that stuff he was yelling when he was punching out was all about…'I'm coming home, Magpie.' Like he was…happy, or something." Which plainly creeps Phin out.

"Well, stands to reason that his wife is dead. Maybe he thought if he did die, he'd see her again. Which is true." Ygraine points out. "But until we know for certain, i know I ain't bankin' on him being belly up, and neither should you."

"Maybe…" Phin plainly doesn't want to speak anymore on that. "But, yeah. I won't. I promise. And Major Sheperd has to be planning to go back to Aerilon soon and look for him. We owe him that much." He squeezes her shoulder again briefly, then hoists himself to his feet. "I should go hit the showers. I kind of want to get this thing off for awhile." He flicks a sleeve of his flight suit.

"Yeah do, because you're gross, Phinny." she wrinkles her nose at him. "Come and see me when you get out and smell less like sweat. Wanna borrow my shampoo? It's raspberry." That is Ygraine's coveted, carefully hoarded shampoo. Surely this is a gesture of friendship.

Phin chuckles. "I appreciate the thought, but I'll pass. I'll see you later, Yggs." A pause and he adds, "Thanks." Probably not for the offer to share her shampoo.

"Always, Phin McBride." she replies promptly, and makes as if to throw her pillow at him. "Go on, git."

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