MD #226: Dressing Down
Dressing Down
Summary: Emily's -continued- moping yet again sets Ynyr off in the middle of ship's night in the berthings. Lleu lays into her with a dressing down.
Date: 20/11/2017 (OOC Date)
Related Logs: Well That Went Well and other Atticus and Emily logs.
Emily Lleufer Yari Randy 
Marine Enlisted Berthings, Deck 3, Battlestar Orion
Housing for a whole company of Marines plus headquarters support staff requires more than one hundred bunks for the Marines' enlisted personnel. Divided into two primary bunkhouses, each one holds sixty bunks, one bunk stacked over another against the wall with a table between each row and a thin bulkhead between the sections. Rather than the blue curtains of the naval enlisted, each bunk has a dark green barrier with the crest of the CMC done in black. The lockers for the Marines are triple the size of the Navy's allowances, each locker holding a Marine's personal body armor and several different sets of uniforms plus combat webbing and helmet. The space physically provided in the lockers might be larger, but the allowance for personal space is less, though the drawers beneath each bunk help alleviate the problem somewhat.
Thu Jun 07 15:57:02 2049

By the time Lleufer got back to the berths, Emily had already changed and closed the curtain on her bunk for lights out. No sound, nothing, she just seemed to go to bed. At some point deep into the night Lleu will wake up and look out and notice the curtain is drawn back on the bunk. She's sitting on the edge in her PT gear, hours before she needs to be up. No tablet, nothing in her hands she's just sitting there with her head bowed as if waiting for the lights to come back on, letting her thoughts run through her head in silence. The kid probably doesn't know well enough yet that if she wants true privacy than she needs to go elsewhere like a storage locker.

Lleufer has come back after dropping off the borrowed violin to a secure lock up stowage. It's too valuable and fragile to get stashed in his locker and it doesn't belong to him! Then he hit his own rack to get some sleep. The Gunny /always/ sleeps with one side of his bunk curtain left open (unless Bennett's sharing his bunk) and the rumor goes that the Master-at-Arms hates to be closed in small spaces.

So it is that Lleu turns over on his bunk and one arm falls to hang out. His fingers rest against the chilly deck. His breathing is somewhat rough, and after turning over again, he blurts something out that's almost a muffled shout! Am arm is thrown up before his face and startled, he seems to have woken himself out of a bad dream. Damn it. There he lies a few seconds breathing hard before he sits up and puts his feet to the deck, running a hand over his shorn skull. It is only then as he glances up and around to see if he awoke anyone else that the veteran sees Emily.

Emily watches the Gunny drag his hand on the deck, then make that loud noise. She blinks a bit at hearing it, then looks down as he rouses himself. When he looks over at her, she looks back and holds his gaze. he can tell in the darkness that her face looks drawn and sad. Not like she's been crying, but more like she just seems very lost. Not the best place for a Marine Recruit to be, at least not like she looks to be. Considering the argument she had earlier? Yeah. Emily just waggles her fingers at him and looks back to the clock, then down to the floor. Kid isn't sleeping tonight.

Thankfully his muffled shout wasn't loud enough to wake the berthings. Others roll over and mumble at most, used to vets like Ynyr occasionally having bad dreams. You get used to it. Now he's wide awake, Lleu rubs his eyes and stands up. He's wearing a pair of boxer shorts and comes over to lean against Emily's bunk frame, folding his arms against it. He keeps his baritone real, real low after a glance at his chrono. "You know it's a bit early for muster. If you'll forgive me for prying, why does Atticus wanting to renounce his knightly title upset you so much?"

Emily almost stands up as he approaches but he isn't in uniform. And it doesn't feel right. Not here. And she definitely doesn't want to be loud after lights out. She's in her running shorts and shirt, sneakers, waiting. "Can't sleep, Gunny. Sorry. Didn't know what else to do." That seems pretty sincere. The last thing Emily probably wants to do is piss people off that she has to live with. Her eyes don't lift to look at him, though. "Because it is the only world I understand. I am trying hard to understand this one and it scares me all the time. I have been struggling with trying to hold to what I know because that is who I am. I do not remember a world without Skath." Her clasped hands squeeze each other nervously. "He knew me. He knew my family. I cried for him when he could not cry, or would not. The names and titles bring him shame. I cannot decide if I should feel shame. I eel I have been left behind on a dark road on this journey. Even as I run and train, this is a different struggle, Gunny. This is not a fight I can punch or shoot." She apparently felt a bond with Atticus that's been severed, something she's clung to since arrival. No wonder she refused to quit on him. She probably never expected her would leave her like that. Maybe the two just don't understand each other as much as they thought.

Lleufer stands there leaning against her bunk and watches her. He's leaned his stubbly chin against his folded forearms. "But Atticus does. Remember, I mean, before the Skath came. It's because of them that his father was murdered, Emily. I was there when Skath sympathizers killed him. They used a bomb, right here on this ship in the hanger while we were all assembled for rally. As a boy, he'd have been almost a young man. Old enough I guess to remember a lot of things, realize that the Skath and the clerics, and /your/ family, lied to him all these years. How can oaths be binding if they were given under misdirection? If I was him, I'd be very angry and ashamed, and very, very much not wish to continue in a King's service who would have him serve mankind's enemy yet, Emily." Lleu shifts his weight slightly where he stands. "I understand it's who you are, or were. It'll always be a part of you. You have strengths to draw on from it. I know it's hard for both of you right now. It's going to take time for you to adjust. I know you are scared. It's something you and he have in common, you know. This being lost and alone among us strangers. Even if he renounces his Knightly status, that doesn't mean you have to give up his friendship. Right now, more than ever, you two probably need to be able to talk, share your concerns."

"I know. He was at least ten years when the Skath came." Emily keeps her face pointed low, towards the floor. Her voice matches the mood - sad and quiet. "His oaths do not matter, Gunny. He is Knighted for life. He can renounce his title to a member of the royal family who can either decline or accept the renunciation. The Clerics probably made sure he would always follow our orders, their version of an oath I would suggest." Thumbs rub together, clearly uncomfortable. "I'll accept it if he wants that, officially, but…" Another long breath leaves her. "I never gave up on him. Even when he said such vile things, I believed in him. I never quit. I have not questioned his treatment and why he suddenly remembers things. And now that he has his freedom? He quits on me. How would you feel if you had put all that faith into me, over years and years, and during my POW status here you did what you did and tried so hard… and then I hated the run on the first morning of PT and just quit?" Emily looks up to him and Lleu can see the hurt. "What would you say to your friend? What would you want to say to me?" She looks down again. "I understand he has been through terrible things, as have I. Awful as it was, I do not wish to forget where I have come from. And with his act.. I feel I've got no support in that. And I've lost direction. I am now.. someone. I know not whom. I may as well get tattoo's and elven ears and big eyes and medicine that will help me live forever. Lady Benning is just a stupid, childish thing, isn't it?"

"Ah," Ten, twelve, close enough. Lleu frowns, "Oaths do matter. That's the point in being a knight, isn't it? At least knights of old, and it sure seems that your knights fit that pattern as well." Then he laughs softly, "You may think that bound only goes one way, but it never has. Humanity doesn't work that way, Emily. Kings of old had nobles and knights to serve them but Kings have responsibilities too those nobles and knights, or it falls apart. I believe he does have that choice, whether or not you or the Skath like it." Ynyr tilts his head as he listens to her, "How is he quitting on you, Emily? I don't see it that way and neither does he, I think." Then he frowns, "'Lady Benning' has no place here among us, it's true. But /you/ are capable of being so much more than just a title, Emily."

Lleufer adds low, "Besides, didn't you offer to renounce his service to try and use that as leverage to help us help him earlier? How can you then be upset that he decides that's the best choice for him?"

"That's the thing, Gunny." his last words seem to sort of broken through and upset her more. "That means I've got no place here among you. I might be capable of being much more than titles, and why I joined, but you people remember a life before the Machines. I do not. I can abrely stand to think about life before I was royalty because of how painful it is." Emily does rise from the bunk finally and look up at him. "I am Lady Benning. I don't know how to be anyone else other than to just give up everything. I'm sorry that I don't have a place here. But I won't stop my training." She's about to walk off when there's the last from Lleu and she nods, "That was a threat made to help prove a point. I would never, never strip that from him unless I had no other choice. Part of the reason is because of what it would have done to me. Maybe I am a selfish, naive child for how I think. But it is how I feel based on the experiences I have had."

Lleufer is now getting annoyed with her, "That's bullshit, Emily. You can't go around trying to force other people to do things the way you want them to just because their choices upset you. And you can fit in if you /want/ to. I think you are being very unfair to Atticus and yes, acting childish. If you hold to this idea as if you are only your past and you can't be more than that, then you are in for a lot of problems. Of your own making. I strongly suggest you think hard about that bed you are making for yourself and whether or not that's what you want to sleep in, because it's going to be real hard to get another chance. After all the people here trying to help you." Lleufer pushes off from her cot. She's succeeded in making /him/ angry with her now. Ynyr turns away and picks up the blanket that fell from his cot, tossing it back. He goes on over to his locker to pull out his kit to go hit the showers. It's not like he's going to get any sleep now.

Emily stands there, watching him. There's still anger and hurt. When he starts getting into the crux of why he's getting miffed with her, she starts to look confused, then more hurt. "Another chance?" There's suddenly some fear in her voice, too. "What?" Even as he walks off, she stares at him from the middle of the room, looking terrified and alone.

His locker open, Lleufer looks back at her, "Emily, I am -trying- to make it clear that you are not alone here. You have to give us a chance. Not keep this wall between us and keep claiming you are all alone. That's crap too." He looks back to his locker and puts things into his sports bag, "If the Marines teach you nothing else, you will learn that the people you train with, fight alongside, eat chow with every day, and who's blood you are going to get all over your hands when they are bleeding out are going to be your new family." He looks back, "But only if you let us bring you into it. You have got to try, and you have got to let Atticus -try-." Bathrobe, toiletries all set, the Gunny closes his locker up and zips his bag. He tries to keep his voice down real low so not to disturb others. "I'm going to suggest you start some counciling, Emily. You're … still rather brittle. I thought you were doing well, relaxing, but now you have got me worried again."

Yari arrives from the Enlisted Barracks.

"I am not claiming I am alone. You told me that there was no place for Lady Benning here. I am LAdy Emily of House Benning, am I not? I do not understand." There's frustration, but it seems to be more lost in translation. Words not understood to proper meaning, etc. His words to her about the marines are something she seems to understand. That's a big part of her classes. There's nothing said to it, but the last leaves her struck still in the darkness. "So if I have trouble one night, and I voice trouble, then I am sent to speak to someone? I have heard of them. They can remove me from duty. I will behave in the future. Apologies." Lleufer can tell that the fear of being sent to someone like that is a far greater concern than anything else. The idea of stopping training…

Lleufer shoulders his bag and looks at Emily as he stands there in his boxer shorts. He /should/ be asleep as well but seems about to go to the head to shower. The Gunny sighs and steps closer so he can speak very low, setting his shoulder to lean against the frame of his own bunk. "It is a suggestion, not an order. You are upset, frustrated, scared. Shrinks aren't bad people, Emily. They can help. Helped /me/ when I had trouble." He sets his bag down for a minute. "You were Lady Emily but the titles mean nothing here. Here you are 'Recruit Emily Benning'. Probably all you need is time. You'll get used to the strangeness, find your balance. All I'm saying is that it's just as hard, or even harder maybe, for Atticus right now. You've had weeks but he just got his world kicked inside out up his ass and out his throat, Emily. I know you are both hurting, but please. This seems like adding self inflicted pain for no good reason that makes sense to me. Atticus doesn't understand any better than I do why you are so upset. It only upsets him more."

Yari's gone through her routine of a late night swim at the end of her shift after dinner, and had crawled into bed with wet hair. The wide-tooth comb - one of a handful of belongings brought from home - had tamed the coiled mass into long, wide strips of damp curls, then she'd crawled under sheet and lain oh so carefully down to keep her mane in check. That was about forty minutes ago. Sleep had come quickly after a long day of wracking her brain and pushing her muscles. But /restful/ sleep? That's never easy. There's a great deal of twitching occuring under that still shroud of sheet now, behind that veil of curtain. It's dark in the house. Nightime. She'd called for Titos but he hadn't answered yet. Maybe he had the boys? She walked away from their empty bed and back out into the hall, down the hall, listening. There is silence, no more. But her eyes? They are sighting deceptive shadows. Trickery in the dark that cannot be, but must be pursued….

And then she finds them, in the kitchen. Titos is on the floor, floating in a pool of his own, crimson fluids. Argus is hiding behind his brother and Vasilis…he is standing there. Tall and proud, Defiant against the press of barrel between his eyes. She cannot hear what he says to the ghostly figure taking aim. Cannot hear the rapport of the gun as it explodes. Cannot hear over the sound of her own screm.

It pierces through to the conscious realm and Corpsman Sawyer launches up from her stillness and howls her way STRAIGHT into the papered ceiling above her mattress. THWACK.

"Then when I am scared, frustrated, and upset in the future I will not say anything. I do not wish to ever speak with someone who can remove me from my new family just because they think I feel a certain way. Never." Emily already seems to have a fear instilled in her. "That is very much like a Cleric of your own people." Which may make more sense. But will she just bottle everything up in the future now? That's difficult to tell. "I know I am Recruit Emily Benning. I m also Lady. But Lady does not matter to our people, it is only a title." Which may be where she is getting confused. The directional thoughtpoint to Atticus has her look down. "I do not speak your language well enough. I lack words to describe why I.." No, 'upset' is not good. "Why I feel in this way." And given her lack of education? Its no surprise. She can speak in a way that sounds nice and official, but she's lacking more cognitive nd logic based thinking thats so important as a kid. Not only is the vocabulary not there, neither is the ability to get there. And when Sawyer wakes up like that, Emily scrambles over to the bunk to try and climb up the ladder to get close. Maybe take a hand. "Yari," she whispers quickly. "Yari it's okay."

Lleufer now scowls at Emily, "Will you freaking STOP this shit?" Yeah, now he's getting angry /again/ with her. "It's -you- who are going to get your ass removed from training if you keep up this bullshit, Emily." He points a finger at her, "YOU. That attitude is the crap I'm talking about. You'll piss off Knox and he'll kick your damn ass out of boot if you are going to be a pig headed, whiny, self centered, 'woe is me' little bitch. -I'm- trying to talk to you right now and now you are pulling this crap 'I'm not going to talk to anybody' piss. What you need is maybe a good ass kicking so you can know what real pain is, Benning. Face your fears. Pull yourself together and think about it. The only problem I'm seeing here is of your own making. Think about other people for a change." Lleu looks a bit pissed off. Then Yari wakes up with a howl, not so different from the bad dreams that woke him to find Emily brooding in the first place. The Gunny mutters something to himself and picks up his bag out to get a shower.

Holy hell, that must have hurt. It /sounded/ like it hurt. But did it? Yari appears more stunned than anything, trying to cipher her way back into THIS reality. One shaky hand lifts to touch her brow where she's certain she's going to feel a mash of brain, but there is only wet. Sweat? Uncomprehending eyes turn to stare with dilated pupils at Emily. "My son?" she queries softly.

"SHUT THE FRAK UP!" Randy shouts grumpily from her rack after there's a loud bang against one of the bulkheads in a domino reaction, but no kind of howl or anything else from her save for the bellowing. "OTHER PEOPLE EXIST!" Does she know it's the Gunny shouting? Who's to say. This is the enlisted berthings. Surely someone yelling something out that is crass or on the line isn't /that/ uncommon. The idea that other people exist who also want to sleep is probably implied.

Emily stares at Lleufer, unsure what to say with all of it. Rather than pursue protest, she lifts up her hands in surrender and leaves it there. "Sorry, Gunny. Let's just.. I'll find you another time." She looks over to Yari then and winces with Randy's pounding. "I am sure your son is fine, Yari. You are on Orion."

A knot's already welling up there, almost dead center in Yari's forehead, from where she'd headbutted the ceiling in her panic. She's looking a little crosseyed, a little confused, but seems to be getting a literal grip on this plane of existance. Both hands pick at the bedding, the bulkhead, Emily…anything touchable is an anchor while she tries to get hyperventilation under control. One doesn't just snap out of fight or flight - it's a process. "N-no…

"Right." That's all Emily gets out of Lleufer. WIth his bag back over his shoulder, Ynyr looks over to where Randy's been woken up. He lifts the volume of his baritone, "Sorry for the disturbance, Flynn, everyone." No explanation of why. Lleu gives poor Yari a slight smile in sympathy and then he goes to get that shower.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License